Afromegaly

Retro Review: In Defense of Sonic R

2011-09-22T16:32:00.011-05:00

This may come as a surprise, but I actually like Sonic R. In fact, I actually think it's pretty good.

"WHOA, BUT RYAN," I hear you say, "SONIC R IS TERRIBLE; EVERYONE SAYS SO!"

Yeah, and those people are wrong for a number of reasons:

a. They never played it, and are making assumptions based on scant video released of the game. If they focus solely on making fun of the music, I can nearly guarantee you they've never played it. Sonic R is still pretty rare. It's only available on Sega Saturn, PC, and the Sonic Gems Collection on Gamecube. Most people decide that when they can't track it down to play it, watching a Youtube video is just as good.

b. They played it on pc with a keyboard or a terrible joypad. I know this may be hard to comprehend if you're only going off of videos of people playing Sonic R on a PC, but Sonic R actually controls well! The reason most videos show people running straight into walls or water or whatever is because they don't know how to drift. On the Saturn and Gamecube, it was straightforward; you just used the R and L triggers to bank right and left respectively. However, on a keyboard, this would be nearly impossible. The same applies for a joypad that lacks shoulder buttons.

c. They didn't understand the controls. One of Sonic R's coolest features is that every character controls a little differently. Sonic can double jump, Tails can fly, Knuckles can glide, Robotnik can hover over water and shoot missiles, etc. on top of drifting and braking at different rates. That said, if they're playing the game expecting everyone to play more or less the same (like a kart racer), they probably never figure this out.

d. Ignorance, the player simply doesn't know how to play the game. They never bothered looking in the instruction booklet, and likely have no idea how to drift or make use of the characters' special abilities.

Alright. Now that I have that out of the way, let me post the genuine problems the game has. First and most importantly, there's only 5 stages. This is really the biggest and most legitimate complaint you can make about the game. If someone doesn't mention this point, you can rest assured that they've never played it. Secondly, some of the characters are useless. Amy and Robotnik are both horrendously slow, and have next to nothing going for them. Lastly, the game was only 2 player. This isn't inherently a problem, but it's hard to say it wouldn't be better if it supported more.

Now on to it's good points. As stated previously, the game controls well. Once you've figured out the nuances of drifting and breaking and picked a character you like, you can really start enjoying what makes the game unique.

I'm actually surprised at how well the graphics hold up, ESPECIALLY for a 3D Saturn game. The levels are colorful and the character models are easily distinguished from one another. The animation could be a little better, but we're talking about a 3D game from 1998. They were great for the time, and there's certainly more there than one would expect from any other racing game. Plus, the PC version (and the port of it on Sonic Gems) has dynamic weather. This changes not only the look of every stage, but how the play as well (water freezes and can be walked on when it is snowing, it becomes harder to drift when it is raining, etc.).

I know, the music is polarizing. You will love it or hate it, but at least it's unique. It was also pretty cool for the time since very few games had lyrics. I want to point out something really quick while I'm on the subject: if people say they hate the music in Sonic R, but LOVE the title theme to Sonic CD, they are crazy. The music is hokey in both games, and I have a hard time believing that you like one while hating the other.

Every level is visually unique and designed well. There are multiple shortcuts and secrets to find; Sonic R has a lot in common with Diddy Kong Racing in that regard (grab the collectibles and win the race). However, unlike DKR Sonic R's collectibles don't open up new levels. Instead, they unlock new characters. In order to unlock a character, you must collect 5 tokens hidden around a stage, finish in 1st place, and finally defeat the new character in a one-on-one race. Every character is unlocked in this way, except Super Sonic. Super Sonic is unlocked by collecting every chaos emerald hidden across all 5 levels. He's the fastest character in the game and can hover over water...so yeah, he completely breaks the game. And that's when the game basically ends.

After you've played through every level, collected every token and emerald, and played as each character, the game is over. There's some fun to be had in racing your friends, but with only 5 tracks and unbalanced characters, there's not much to do. There are a couple extra modes for multiplayer, but they're pretty forgettable.

So yeah. Sonic R isn't great, but don't knock what's there. If you've got 4 or 5 hours to kill, it can be a really enjoyable experience. It's a well designed game that controls well, has polarizing music, and ends quickly. That's Sonic R, for better or worse.

The Breakdown:

Controls: 9/10
Graphics: 8/10
Level Design: 8/10
Music: 0/10 or 10/10, depending on preference
Lastability: 1/10

Overall: 6.5/10

-AfroRyan
"Whoa, a 6.5? I thought you were defending it!"

For reference, I would give Sonic 2006 a 0/10. I'm not kidding; the game isn't even finished! The fact that Screw Attack's list of worst Sonic games has Sonic 2006 at number 5 instead of number 1 is enough for me to discount the list outright.

For the record, I love screwattack.com.

AAAWWWWW HELL, why not?

GTN2BOXBLA: Sonic R

See above.

+ If the game had online multiplayer, leaderboards, and achievements, it would extend the lastability to a 5/10. That's a solid 7.5 game that I'd gladly spend $5 on!

Achievements:

Diamond in the Sky: Unlock the Radiant Emerald Course
I am the Eggman: Unlock Dr. Robotnik
Can You Feel The Sunshine?: Unlock Metal Sonic
Living In The City: Unlock Tails Doll
Back in Time: Unlock Egg Robo
Work it Out: Unlock Metal Knuckles
Super Sonic Racing: Unlock Super Sonic
You're it!: Play a game of tag on every course
POP!: Pop the Balloons on every course
Mirror Mode: Complete every course in Time Attack Mirror Mode
I'm Special: Use every character's unique ability
Use the Boost to Get Through!: After unlocking every character, place 1st as Amy on Radiant Emerald

VIDYA GAEM MUSAK

2011-09-16T20:52:00.003-05:00

So 2ch did this thing where they posted all of their favorite music from videogames. Being the anonymous Japanese imageboard that it is, it tended to have a bunch of music from...*ahem*..."visual novels" (ie porn games), but that's not to say the music isn't any good.

However, realizing how super classy us Westerners are, Mr. Kurt Kalata (Discoalucard) of Hardcore Gaming 101 decided that the members of the HG101 forum should post their favorite videogame music, with their highly refined, Western tastes.

So basically, instead of "random porn game song number 2" and "random sugary song from a dime-a-dozen shooter" and "awesome strategy rpg from the 90s not localized anywhere but japan song that is totally great"and "Final Fantasy," we'll have "random western PC rpg song number 3" and "random action music from 1993 shooter" and "text heavy point and click adventure game that was inconceivably translated into every language known to man for who knows what reason title theme song," and "Final Fantasy."

Also Megaman.

Anyways, being the amazingly high profile member that I am on the forum (don't be jealous, I've been there since the first day the forum opened on March 19 of 2006. It takes a strong online personality like myself to be so dedicated as to make 56 posts over the course of 5 and a half years), I have posted my top 100 songs in an attempt to expose the best music of the medium.

Actually I just posted the most obscure stuff that I could think of that still manages to be really good, but that also resonates with me personally, virtually guaranteeing that no more than 10 songs from my list of 100 will be on the overall list.

So I thought I'd just copypaste my stuff over from the site, just to post what stuff that inevitably won't make the cut for posterity's sake. Enjoy it people.

-START HG101 POST-

Notes

Let it be known that I could have made a list with 1000+ songs fairly easily, since my 60GB iPod has about 45GB worth of videogame music. It was pretty difficult making a list of only 100 songs.

I have tried my best to include songs from some of my favorite, more obscure games. On the flipside, I've tried to include some obscure songs from mainstream games...although that's tough in some games since their entire soundtrack is so memorable (Mario, Sonic, etc.). I've also posted some songs that are special to me, even though I know they're not particularly good (like Sonic 2's Hidden Palace music, which was magical the first time I played it in the Sonic 2 beta rom). I realize that most of the more obscure songs I posted probably won't make the list, since I'm the only one posting them...but it's the thought that counts.

I felt compelled to include my favorite music from every Halo game since I feel it (Halo in general) gets a bad rap in hardcore gaming circles. I assume that a good amount of Halo naysayers have never given Halo's music any time at all past it's main theme.

I wanted to include Kazumi Totaka's song that he's hidden in so many Nintendo games, but realized that that's difficult since...you know...it's hidden, and isn't actually exclusive to one game or series. I decided to go ahead and post the only game in which it appears 'officially,' Animal crossing, even though it's still technically secret in that the player HAS to request it, and it is never sung randomly.

I kind of cheated with Banjo Kazooie. It has such amazing music throughout, it's hard to pick just one piece...however, BKN&B has a level that's a mishmash of references to Banjo 1 and 2, with an amazing orchestrated medley of past tunes.

There aren't any Youtube videos of music from Cosmic Spacehead or Gadget Twins...there are gameplay videos though, so I posted relevant links to the levels in which my favorite music appears. Ignore the sound effects.

There's a few flash games on the list. In some cases, there's audio available on youtube, in other cases, there's audio on newgrounds, and in others, you just have to play the game (although my favorites tend to be the first level's music, so it's not that big a deal if you want to preview it).

The Dead Island Trailer music is a strange beast in that the music wasn't in the game, but the music for the trailer was written specifically for Dead Island['s trailer]. For me, that still makes it videogame music, since it wouldn't exist without videogames.

I realize Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine is a carbon copy of Puyo Puyo, but I really REALLY like its awesome remixes (so much more bass heavy).

And yes, I know Sonic R has hokey music...but I like it, ok?

Top 5:

Chuck Rock 2 Genesis, Dippy the Dinosaur, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elJd5AJNwmw
Chuck Rock, Title Theme, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KT-3dTZEWAA
Gain Ground, Origin ~Awaken~, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qjl0oIeQdDA
Wiz N Liz, Name Entry, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_gTY884Eu0
ilomilo, "red, green and blue doodles", http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28mPow0fyKA

The Rest:

Aladdin Genesis, The Desert, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mmft4ybgaLA
Animal Crossing, K. K. Song, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjwA9j0nQS4
Banjo Kazooie Nuts and Bolts, Banjo Land, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLaYWyBAanw
Beyond Good and Evil, Home Sweet Home, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZ5ZqnBjKR4
Beyond Good and Evil, Hylian Sweet, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKEyiAy0iWU
Bionic Commando Rearmed, Killt's Hidden Treasure, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFSetL7t0Ws
BlazBlue, Cactus Carnival, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nXsyN7HB18
BMX Airmaster, Main Theme, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKmfpDuMjEI
Bomboozle 2, Main Theme, http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/553844
Castlevania, Out of Time, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoRj_VAh2QM
Cave Story, On to Grasstown, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlmOhXoKmoQ
Chibi Robo, Night Play, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpl5dYSkhbY
Chu Chu Rocket, Credits, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyqj7r-0LVU
Columns, Clotho, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHldsUriXLc
Command & Conquer, C&C Thang, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_0aeOdFhoY
Comix Zone, Night of the Mutants, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOvGTULHw2Y
Conker's Bad Fur Day, Pooland, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oy09M8llQ28
Cool Spot, Wall Tune, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoRQKfuq6cM
Cosmic Spacehead, Dark Forest, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBnnwDuYvS8&t=10m53s
Cubivore, Theme 1, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_CwvWBZfjc
Dead Island, Trailer Music, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CzcOcBb_ms
Decap Attack, Stage 2, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=596ajadtPQE
Deus Ex Human Revolution, Icarus, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0ozD7Boq-s
Domino Rally, Step 2, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCp2Lf_wjxw
Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine, Exercise, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-4lOQ-70Ro
Earthbound, Giygas is Wounded, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuvQ7z-CzQE
Earthworm Jim 2, Anything but Tangerines, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7DZ5Utuq58
Escape From Puppy Death Factory, Missile Silo, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FskVG7Emtk
Fantastic Dizzy, Treehouse, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Djlp5jpHEsE
Fantasy Zone, Opa! Opa!, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vJBoRr4kjY
Fishbane, Early Levels Theme, http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/541803
Gadget Twins, Gadget Bay, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M820zZ-rNbM
Gitaroo Man Lives, Toda Pasiòn, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JuOgMl57vCA
Global Gladiators, McRock, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F34hqwQ1eEA
Halo, Lost Song, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0Cq26ESYz0
Halo 2, Peril, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=liDBB2ZKKKM
Halo 3 ODST, Light at the End, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5FX4hU1oAE
Halo 3, Never Forget, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyDZscyf8lU
Halo Reach, Overture, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UB5h5YF__JA
Halo Wars, All Sloppy No Joe, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhByRtach7Y
Halo Wars, Spirit of Fire, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z89adFGjR3g
Ico, Heal, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGwfBvW3YA8
Jet Grind Radio, Sneakman, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdts93IDGyI
Jet Set Radio Future, Funky Dealer, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTJKZ4PtgXI
K.O.L.M., Counting Down the Hours, http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/359609
Knuckles Choatix, Door Into Summer, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGt5jBmjLgA
Legend of Zelda Majora's Mask, Astral Observatory, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNrscobacCg
Legend of Zelda Majora's Mask, Song of Healing, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDX4ZwUeOok
Legend of Zelda Minish Cap, Minish Village, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYoLn9Fmp90
Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time, Title Theme, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tf7gu6hKkc
Lode Runner XBLA, Volcanic Stages, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVCIOrssNg8
Luigi's Mansion, Luigi's Mansion Theme, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoOPTcUMIus
Marathon, Flippant, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FU3_KgNkCQ
Mass Effect, The Wards, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAIt6KDOcHY
Metal Gear, Theme of Tara, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2W6dShYD9LU
Mirror's Edge, Still Alive, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzmUde_EK5Y
Mother, Introduction, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w766L022iCk
Mother 3, 16 Melodies, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZbqrZJ9VA4
Myth, The Siege of Madrigal, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hTgvNsqb9Y
Outrun, Magical Sound Shower, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxcVk6ygHVE
Panzer Dragoon, Flight, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4oTU0srt2I
Perfect Dark, Menu Screen, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxEausPgUdc
Phantasy Star Online, For Eternal Story, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6omI9KY3GkM
Pikmin, Forest of Hope, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HoMx0BTPVgE
Popful Mail, Forest Level, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ze6vpJTQFnw
Puzzle Bobble 2, World 2, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAgnSqdDplY
Ristar, Ice Scream, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTjh0mVzbRk
Rocket Knight Adventures, Stage 2-1, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjpUi5G_xdw
Scott Pilgrim Vs The World, Vs Nega Scott, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nD5rMbrQc0
Shadow of the Colossus, Prologue to the Ancient World, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9IiUKK67qhY
Socket, High Speed Area, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nyeJHcbd51I
Sonic 3D Blast Genesis, Rusty Ruin Zone, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfG09iLCKsM
Sonic Advance, Cosmic Angle Zone, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXBwvNPKyHo
Sonic and Knuckles, Lave Reef Zone, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wo_4R17gYSY
Sonic CD PAL/JAP, Collision Chaos Present, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tXtzlUDTD4
Sonic CD US, Stardust Speedway Present, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ON1_geFiP5s
Sonic R, Super Sonic Racing, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QZJp3KIH2g
Sonic Rush, "Right There, Right On", http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyPT7b6ngmg
Sonic the Hedgehog, Labyrinth Zone, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSKgprdDRTY
Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Hidden Palace Zone, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcR81-nhKk0
Sonic the Hedgehog 3, Hydrocity Zone, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1K1rV9kFs6I
Space Harrier, Main Theme, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_Tam9lv1KQ
Sparkster Genesis, Level 1 theme, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTr-nl9pt2c
Street Fighter 3, Alex's Theme, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xp9GIMJU-_Q
Super Bomberman, Level 1, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4ipq2P6_S4
Super Mario Land 2, Star Maze, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmD9WnLYR5I
Tails Adventure, Poloy Forest, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWYcR59ymAM
The Secret of Monkey Island, Main theme, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTx1iwf2sGo
ToeJam & Earl, Funkotronic Beat, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwQQP4I9w8Q
Toejam and Earl Panic on Funkotron, Ode to Sharla, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPW8pEyQRg0
Tower of Heaven, Indignant Divinity, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_mFvJ6y_3I
Umjammer Lammy, Fire! Fire!, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsbO_riTJos
Vapor Trail/Kuuga, Stage 1 theme, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XG1c2U4ld2Y
Wiz N Liz, Ending Theme, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGzTlhEvp4E&t=0m55s
Zero Wing, Natols, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAxcSujM1iw

-End of HG101 Post-

So yeah. I realize that to me and some other random superfans of random things like Chuck Rock or Tommy Tallarico and games by vik tokai and indie flash games, these songs are precious and memorable...so much so that we forget that we're actually in a very small minority, even amongst hardcore gamers. So sure, my favorite Sonic music will probably get on the list, and yeah, Astral Observatory already made the list, but this post is to try and justify my entries for Escape From Puppy Death Factory, for Wiz n Liz, for Rocket Knight Adventures, and for many more tragically overlooked games and soundtracks. So please, don't assume that I picked the most obscure stuff I could find (minus Halo and Sonic and whatever) for the sake of being obscure or for being hipster or whatever. I posted them because they're good. They're great. Listen to them. If you like what you hear, do yourself a favor and listen to MORE music from those games. You won't be disappointed.

Unless it's BMX Airmaster. It doesn't really have any more music...just a couple jingles.

-AfroRyan
Sarcasm Mode: ON

OH! And I posted the soundtracks to ilomilo and Lode Runner XBLA myself on Youtube. Check them out!

Why Achievements are important...and why they suck

2011-04-29T14:33:00.007-05:00

If it isn't already obvious, what with my "Games that NEED achievements" articles and all, I am sold on the whole concept of a universal achievements system. Allow me to start with my first impression of achievements.

I bought an Xbox 360 on launch day, 11/16/05. The ONLY reason I was buying it was Perfect Dark Zero. In hindsight, not a good decision. This is made even more ironic, since not only did Perfect Dark Zero disappoint me in nearly every way, it also conditioned me to hate achievements. PD0's achievements are some of the laziest, ill-conceived, and utterly frustrating achievements ever programmed into a game. Being that it was the first game I ever played with a universal achievement system in place, I quickly disregarded the whole concept.

But then something magical happened. I bought Geometry Wars Evolved.

An upgraded version of a Project Gotham Racing 2's awesome minigame, not only did Geometry Wars Evolved usher in a ~~ton of crappy twin-stick shooter knockoffs~~ new era of high-quality downloadable games, it also showed me why achievements can be awesome. Sure, it has the standard progression based achievements (Score 100,000 points, Score 250,000 points, etc.)...but then I noticed the 'Pacifism' achievement. The achievement's description reads "Survive the first 60 seconds of the game without firing." What was this? This isn't how the game's supposed to be played! My mind boggled.

So I tried to earn the achievement, not because I was hooked on achievements (Reminder: PD0 already had me opposed to the concept), but because I LOVED Geometry Wars. But then, after finally obtaining that 10-point achievement, it hit me like a giant BLEEP BLOOP to the head...I LOVE ACHIEVEMENTS. Not for their useless number of imaginary points, nor for the bragging rights, but for the way they encouraged me to play games in a way I never would otherwise.

Sure, it can feel good to finally get 100% in a game you really enjoy, coupled with that satisfying bleep-bloop achievement unlocked sound, and it can be really fun to brag about a particularly tough achievement you earned...but 'Pacifism' taught me a valuable lesson in modern game design. It taught me that just because you are meant to play a game a certain way, that doesn't mean you HAVE to play it that way. Technically, this has always been true...but now there was a way to encourage that kind of pointless fun, except now it wasn't quite as pointless; now you have an achievement for it. If it wasn't for that achievement, I would have NEVER tried playing the game for ANY amount of time without shooting. But with that achievement there, I tried it, and it was fun.

I grew to like achievements more, even when they weren't quite as unique. I liked that people could see that I had all of the achievements in Sonic 1 [and 2 and 3 and Knuckles and HURRY UP SEGA AND RELEASE SONIC CD SO I CAN GET THEM ALL IN THAT TOO], even if they weren't all that original. I liked that I could talk to my friends about that really tough achievement I got in Alien Hominid. I liked that secret achievements encouraged me to experiment without being told specifically what to do (and that they could also simply avoid spoiling certain story elements). I liked that sometimes the text would change after you unlocked an achievement, changing to something funny (Fable 2 and 3 come to mind). And I still like all of these things about achievements, but mostly I still like that they can encourage me to play a game in a way I wouldn't have otherwise.

Now that you know how and why I like achievements, let me tell you why I still hate certain aspects of them. Firstly, and most importantly [to me] is the point system. I don't care that I have 70,000+ achievement points. It doesn't mean I'm a better gamer than you; it just means I've played more games. By the same token, I don't care how much an achievement is worth. I feel more accomplished having that 10-point achievement for dying less than 5 times in Limbo than that 125-point achievement for beating Halo 3 on Normal. I hate that Microsoft limits developers in the amount of achievements a game can have, especially in XBLA games (I'm fine with the point totals being a certain limit, I just mean the number of achievements period). I hate that added achievements can only come from paid DLC and not free DLC. Microsoft once gave an excuse that they wanted achievements to "hold value" and that they were doing us a favor by not having achievements in free DLC because it would make achievements feel cheap. Using that line of logic, I hate that developers can nickle and dime us with paid DLC (like Castlevania HD) and not have to add achievements. I hate that older games with paid DLC (before DLC had achievements) aren't updated to support DLC achievements (Outpost Koloki X, Eets, N+, Alien Hominid, etc.). Last but not least, I hate that some games have incredibly easy and boring achievements because the developers think that will make it sell better.

So if you've ever read over this blog and found my obsession with achievements odd, there's why. For the record, I still think achievements are an important tool in modern game design. I like that Sony has a trophy system, I like that Steam has achievements, and I like that Newgrounds (f'ing Newgrounds) has medals for their Flash games. Basically, what I'm trying to say is:

NINTENDO, YOU'D BETTER ADD ACHIEVEMENTS AND A STANDARDIZED FRIEND LIST TO YOUR NEXT CONSOLE UNLESS YOU WANT TO BE LAUGHED AT. Also, I would rebuy every game I've ever bought from you if it meant I got to replay it with achievements. Sad, but true.

-AfroRyan
Achievement Unlocked

Vidya Review: Bionic Commando Rearmed 2

2011-03-01T19:00:00.004-06:00

So, I'm still working on my HARD MODE/PRESTIGE playthrough, but knowing that, you should be able to infer that I like BCR2. Released on XBLA and PSN, BCR2 is a sequel to the phenomenal Bionic Commando Rearmed.

Knowing how great BCR1 was, I kind of expected BCR2 to be immediately hated by any BCR1 fans, simply because it's trying to be new. Anyways, I got into a civil discussion with a guy who hated BCR2 for conflicting reasons (TOO HARD, NOT HARD ENOUGH), so here's my reply, which I will let stand as a review in and of itself:

For the record, I don't think that the controls in BCR2 are 'crappy,' just not as tight as BCR. I don't even mean that as an insult either; saying a game has tight controls can also mean that it's unnecessarily rigid.

Although a purist will argue that the original controls were perfect the way they were, anyone unfamiliar with the franchise will (and did) immediately complain about the controls in BCR. Very few people completed BCR (even fans), and I don't necessarily blame them for it; it's a tough game with some absolutely brutal level design if you aren't willing to just tough it out. People like you or me don't mind that...we celebrate it even, but I can understand why Capcom might decide to make the franchise a little more accessible.

What you call crappy controls in BCR2 are actually pretty loose and fluid, more akin to Mario than BCR or Megaman. It's off putting at first to anyone accustomed to the first game, but I guarantee you that anyone new to the franchise would prefer the controls in 2 if they were to play them back to back. It leaves some room for error that non-masochists prefer.

Are they wrong? Are we? I don't think either party's wrong; they both have valid points.

All that said, the game's still fairly difficult in the grand scheme. I beat it without jumping yesterday, and I died a ton (although with the permanent 1ups system, I never had to continue at any point), and felt like the Gorilla boss in particular was pretty difficult (without jumping). Also, the last boss was super cool...he might not be a resurrected Hitler, but it's hard to argue that the final boss in BCR2 isn't more interesting (from a gameplay perspective) than BCR...even if his head didn't explod.

Personally, I still love this soundtrack too. It's not much to complain about anyways; it's still all just remixes. Just a matter of opinion though.

Let me wrap up by saying that I hated Sonic 4. Not because it wasn't enough like the first games, but because it was poorly designed. The levels were completely recycled and the engine itself was poorly coded. BCR2, on the other hand, is a nice, original game that doesn't completely rely on its earlier entries (well, entry) and manages to evoke both feelings of familiarity while also staying fresh and interesting by throwing new gameplay mechanics in the mix.

I'll end on a simple comparison of one sentence reviews of BCR and BCR2 and an out of 10 score:

BCR: Based simply on the fact that it is THE perfect example of how to do a remake, 10/10
BCR2: More expensive yet shorter than the first, but still managed to keep me completely entertained throughout, 8.5/10

*A second post*

I enjoyed the bosses in BCR2 when I first played through, since I wasn't jumping. GORILLA was actually super difficult to defeat without jumping, along with the final boss.

Also, another quick point: playing on Prestige mode is actually pretty hard. You can't change your equipment (other than weapons) at all, so no grenades, and no passive enhancements. I'm doing this on top of playing through on Hard, so it's actually pretty danged tough.

I concede that if you play the game the way it's promoted (with jumping, enhancements, etc.) it's super easy (especially for BCR vets), but if you plan on getting 200/200 achievements, it's still pretty difficult.

Just another 2 cents.

Also, I still won't defend its price; $15 is crazy in comparison to the $10 that BCR was/is.

*END POSTS*

So there, that stands as a pretty good review, right? Anyways, see you next time!

-AfroRyan
Nathan 'Rad Mustache' Spencer

GTN2BOXBLA: Wiz 'N Liz

2011-03-01T12:32:00.005-06:00

I am sad. Know why? Because Bizarre Creations, creators of the Project Gotham series and the first great XBLA game, Geometry Wars, are no more. What's worse? Knowing that there is virtually 0% chance that Wiz N Liz (or Fatal Rewind for that matter) will ever come out to any downloadable service. It's cool though because Bizarre was awesome enough to host the Megadrive ROM right on their own site: http://www.bizarrecreations.com/games/wiz_n_liz/

Still, I can't help but wonder how sweet it would have been for this game to be released on XBLA. In Wiz N Liz, you play as either Wiz (a wizard) or Liz (a witch). A spell gone bad has scattered all of the rabbits all over their magical land...and it's up to Wiz and Liz to set things right.

Alright, so the game has a nonsensical plot, but the gameplay is super fun, and the music and visuals are awesome. Wiz and Liz play identically, so go ahead and pick whomever you like best. The main objective of each level (which are selected in whatever order the player wants) is to collect rabbits, in turn, collecting the letters they release upon rescue, spelling a word. Once the word is spelled, the rabbits start releasing stars (currency), extra time, bonus letters, and fruit/vegetables. Collect enough fruits/vegetables and you get said fruit/vegetable in your hub world. When you have 2 fruits/vegetables, you mix them together into a magic cauldron, and with any luck you'll get something cool, like an extra life, a bonus minigame, extra points, or even stupid stuff like turning all the rabbits blue. It isn't random; believe it or not, there are 105 unique combinations, each with a particular bonus.

So yeah, that's it; rescue the rabbits as fast as you can, gather fruits/vegetables, get bonuses, repeat. Levels repeat themselves in the sense that when you scroll far enough right or left, the level simply wraps back up with itself. However, each individual level is fairly unique; they are visually unique, have different music, and different layouts.

After you complete every level, it's time for a boss. There are several different bosses depending on the difficulty chosen, and you only get the 'true' ending for beating the game on the highest difficulty. Nothing special, but worth noting.

Now, achievements:

SPLAT: Splat the dudes with enough tomatoes to win an extra life.
Master Alchemist: Mix every possible combination of fruit.
Kind Heart: Rescue every rabbit on a bonus level.
Wiz: Beat the game on any difficulty with Wiz.
Liz: Beat the game on any difficulty with Liz.
What a Freak: Defeat the Freaky Flower.
Snake, Fried: Defeat Snake Eyes.
Cleaned His Clock: Defeat the Creepy Clock.
Savage Beating: Defeat the Savage Pumpkin.
Fire Wood: Defeat the Evil Oak.
Gate Reapered: Defeat the Gate Keeper.
Deadly Dragowned: Defeat the Deadly Dragon.

There. I figured since getting Master Alchemist would take forever, then I'd make the rest pretty easy. Not a great list, but I've seen worse.

-AfroRyan
RIP Bizarre.

Flash Game Review: REDDER

2011-01-30T17:16:00.003-06:00

REDDER is exploration in its purest form. No leveling up. No upgrades to collect. Just plain old simple exploration.

Wait, did I say "plain old simple exploration?" What I meant to say is unique, challenging, and deeply rewarding exploration. The jumping at first feels off, but it's not; more like how Mario feels slippery until you realize it's better that way because it's predictable and master-able. You can control the height of your jumps the longer you hold the button...nothing new I grant you, but your astronaut (or maybe cosmonaut...the game is called REDDER after all) can jump really high, and you can stop your vertical ascent at any point by letting go of the jump button. This leads to some tricky puzzle type setups where you need to time your jumps just right in order to secure your prize.

That last part might make the game sound hard. It isn't...at least, not for an Auntie Pixelante game. Anyone who has the patience to beat a Mario game (or even a Sonic game) could beat this without too much trouble. Checkpoints are common; that's a blessing. I like the ability to warp to a checkpoint and your ship too; it makes some of the exploration more less boring (not to imply the game is boring because it isn't).

The music is very fitting and catchy, and just when you start to get tired of it...*SPOILERS*

You've collected enough gems to start to warp and glitch the world enough to also warp the music. It's all an awesome, unexpected, and thoroughly enjoyable moment, while also motivating the player to continue collecting gems just to see what happens next. I'd have said the story was simple and cliched; astronaut lands on planet, needs fuel (or is greedy and wants to collect gems that the ship detected), must escape, etc. but this added element throws a wrench in the synopsis. Although there is no overt storytelling in the game, I like to imagine that the reason the visuals and sound start warping are because: A - The astronaut is running out of oxygen and is starting to hallucinate. B - The gems the astronaut is collecting are radioactive and therefore the more the astronaut collects the more the astronaut hallucinates. C - The astronaut is simply having hallucinations due to isolation. Or D - A combination of A, B, and C. Of course, you could just say it's a cool design decision and leave it at that.

I should also mention that I like the main puzzle mechanic too. The red and green switches (that in turn activate red and green platforms, but only one color can be active at a time) can lead to some really cool gameplay moments. I found myself thinking "My, that's clever," over and over again.

The endgame scenario (when you've collected every gem) is awesome too. The complete breakdown into Atari 2600 style graphics and sound (minus the music) is super rad. I love the idea that this game, as complicated as it is, could have been possible on an Atari (if it could be squeezed down to like 5KB or whatever the max filesize an Atari 2600 game is).

So far, I think this is Anna Anthropy's crowning achievement. Mighty Jill Off is good, but in my opinion just isn't as fun or engaging as REDDER.

Long review longer: REDDER is so good I'd pay money for it. I mean it. Put it up on XBLA and I'd pay $5 for it as is. I MEAN IT...although I guess hypothetically you'd have to add a leaderboard (speedruns would be super fun) and achievements (halfway there already...here's the another six off the top of my head: Beat the game without dying. Beat the game in less that ? minutes. Collect enough gems to start hallucinating visually. Collect enough gems to start hallucinating aurally. Collect enough gems to BLEEP BLEEP BLOOP BLOOP. Start your game over after having collected every gem and 100% map cleared), but it would be worth it.

Thanks Auntie Pixelante for such a great experience!

10/10 A++++ High Honors etc.

Top 10 Favorite Comedies

2010-12-23T12:13:00.004-06:00

REAL QUICK, I'll elaborate on why later (I'll just edit the post). As always, it's simply opinion based, so don't take it super personally. Also, this list could be in any order really; just depends on my mood at the time.

10. Naked Gun Trilogy - Cheating, I know, but they all have such great moments. The first is definitely the most solid, though. The Police Squad theme is SO good, too.

9. Monty and the Holy Grail - Nonsensical British humor is the best kind of nonsensical British humor.

8. Shaun of the Dead - The best romantic comedy set during a zombie apocalypse ever written.

7. Hot Fuzz - The best buddy cop movie ever, even if it's technically a buddy bobby movie.

6. Three Amigos - One of the best comedy trios ever.

5. Arsenic and Old Lace - Cary Grant is great in this hilarious black and white black comedy.

4. Young Frankenstein - Give him a sedagive.

3. Airplane! - Don't call me Shirley.

2. This is Spinal Tap - If I said I gave this movie and 11/10 score, would it be cliched? It would? Well, in that case, I'll just say that I thought this movie was a shit sandwich...sarcastically.

1. Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie - Where do we start? Right here; at goofy clown face.

-AfroRyan
Hachachachachacha

Random Dream Diary

2010-12-18T13:00:00.003-06:00

I have dreams fairly regularly. They usually revolve around survival. I have zombie dreams frequently, as well as 'disaster' dreams, involving some sort of natural disaster (floods, tornadoes, earthquakes, meteors, volcanoes...strangely, never blizzards or alien invasions). I have dreams about running away from murders pretty often, too.

As for the random 'normal' dreams...I have dreams in which I loose permanent teeth. Also, I have the occasional school dream where I have forgotten: pants, homework, my locker combination, my locker, my gym clothes, my car (!?), my wallet. I also deal with the occasional "doubles" dream, where I find myself inexplicably surrounded by multiple identical entities (usually pets). I typically freak out while everybody else in my dream acts like it's totally normal; "We've always had two Blackies, idiot!"

I am very rarely woke up from a dream via death in said dream. I usually just wake up because of my alarm, mid-dream. Typically my dreams will start out fairly mundane, but shift to survival mode...rarely, the opposite happens.

I also have flying dreams, but I hate them. I'm never in control of it, and usually I just float up and up and up forever and ever. For some reason, 'swimming' logic usually works for a little while (I float when my breath is held, but descend when I exhale).

Interesting imagery:

A zombie wet nurse nursing a zombie baby.

A naked lady with babies attached/clinging to her back, eating away at her flesh (like a spider).

Survived a terrible flood, treading water outside of a hotel in a city, only to have a meteor impact nearby shortly thereafter, filling the sky with a red glow. I woke up sweating.

Parachuting into a sectioned off "zombie camp" where some of my friends had been trapped.

Waiting inside a church closet, waiting for a murderer to pass by.

Will update with random tidbits for my own reference.

-AfroRyan
Dreamers dreaming dreams dreamily.

RANDOM AWESOME VIDYA MUSIC I LISTEN TO REGULARLY

2010-12-06T17:32:00.004-06:00

In no particular order:
Chuck Rock 2: Dippy Dinosaur
Secret of Monkey Island: Opening Theme
Grim Fandango: Casino Calavera
Castlevania: Out of Time
Chuck Rock: Main Theme
Super Metroid: Brinstar (Red Soil)
Mother: Main Theme
Mother 2 Earthbound: Pokey/Giygas Battle
Gain Ground: Prehistoric Age Theme
Decap Attack: Stage 2
Vapor Trail: Stage 1
Chu Chu Rocket: Credits
Cool Spot: Wall Tune
Global Gladiators: McRock (Level 1 Theme)
Toejam and Earl: Funktronic Beat
Fantasy Zone: Main Theme
Space Harrier: Main Theme

-AfroRyan
I will continue to update this in random order.

Analyzing ilomilo.

2010-12-03T17:31:00.004-06:00

On the surface, XBLA game ilomilo is a cute, nonsensical game about 2 little things named Ilo (the red one) and Milo (the blue one). In order to finish a level, the player must control both Ilo and Milo, eventually making the two meet, finishing the level. Each set of levels is themed around some seemingly random backdrop (a park, a lake, paper/letters, and space/nightime). Along the way, there are a bunch of little collectibles that fill up a meter that, when filled, rewards the player with a scrap piece of photo and a letter (called memories).

In game, the first set of levels are based on a park. We are initially told that Ilo and Milo simply like meeting in the park; it's their daily routine. We are also told that everyday the park rearranges itself and they have to find each other all over again. We are also told that maybe Ilo and Milo just don't remember it the same each time. When the player has collected enough photos, they are told a simple story via letters of two people, Ilona and Milton, who are simply reminiscing about the Summers they used to spend in the park. The final letter (written by Milton) alludes to his impending death, stating "I don't know how many Summers I have left."

The lake levels are set up when we are told that Ilo and Milo get sad when they have to leave each other everyday, and they fall into lake made from their own tears. They eventually make their way out, though. The story we are told this time via letters is of a lake they Ilona and Milton used to visit. They both seem especially fond of this time spent together. Milton states that he still has his rowboat on the lake, and says that they should meet there once again. We are left with a letter from Milton stating his disappointment that Ilona never showed up. We are also left with a picture of a man, with only his cane for company, staring at his favorite lake.

The next set of levels is themed around paper and letters. We are introduced to the concept when Ilo and Milo can't find each other, and decide they should leave maps and letters everywhere so that one could easily find the other. However, their desire to see each other again is so great that they never stay in one place, and only confuse each other even more by leaving so many different letters. The story we are told via letters this time involves Milton writing to Ilona, wondering if she even still lives at the house he's sending the letters to. He receives a letter back from a Doctor who says that she doesn't. Milton assumedly stops sending letters for a time, when he receives a letter from Ilona that asks why Milton stopped writing to her. She says she hates being locked up "like a bird in a cage," and wishes she could escape.

The final set of levels are themed around nightime/space. Ilo and Milo decide to stay together and try to find where the sun goes at night, so that it wouldn't ever have to be night. Therefore they could stay together forever, never having to go home (since that's what has to happen at night). In the final set of correspondence between Ilona and Milton, we are told of the plan they have to meet at the night train, next to the ferris wheel they enjoyed as children. The final letter isn't a letter at all. Instead, it's a Missing Persons Report of one Ilona Zevon and Milton Foley.

ilomilo is about 2 old people who are slowly loosing their minds, but remember life together when they were younger. Milton, sensing his impending death, wishes to be with his childhood sweetheart Ilona, one last time. He tells Ilona that he wishes to meet with her at the lake. Ilona doesn't show up. Distraught, Milton send Ilona more letters asking why she didn't show up, and if she even lives in the house he's sending the letters to. He receives a letter back from a Dr. Jacob Griy that states that Ilona no longer lives there. Some time afterward, Milton also receives a letter from Ilona, now an old maid who lives with a doctor (they don't share last names, so one must assume that she is housebound with a live-in doctor) stating that she wishes she could be free from the house she is forced to stay at. Finally, Milton and Ilona both decide to run away together, catching a night train in the city. Ultimately, we don't know if they ever made it to that train.

ilomilo's levels represent the surreal nature of memories. Although Ilona and Milton may remember things a little differently each time, we can be sure that they are remembering something real. The more they remember each fantastical moment, the more they remember the present state of things; their impeding deaths due to old age. It's also worth mentioning that the characters, Ilo and Milo, are NEVER described using gender. I believe this is a way to convey the pure and innocent relationship they had as children.

There are many ways to interpret the ending. I choose to interpret it as such; I think both Ilona (being the more senile of the two, evidenced by her need for a live in doctor) wandered around aimlessly, becoming lost and probably dying somewhere in the woods near her house. I think Milton (being the more fragile of the two, as evidenced by his own admission that he doesn't have much time left) never made it to the train to begin with. I think he died, alone in some hotel room in the city. Having no living relatives, he is only noticed missing by his landlord, who files the missing persons report when Milton fails to pay his rent.

I choose to interpret it this way simply because Ilo and Milo DO meet each other on a train. The ideal outcome of meeting each other on that train was all Ilona and Milton could think of in their final days. Therefore, they remembered the experience of meeting on the train, as if it actually happened. The final level, set in the starry night sky and ending with Ilo and Milo meeting on a fantastical dream train with wings that ascends into the heavens, represents their ultimate fate. They both died remembering the meeting they never had. They only truly reunite in the afterlife, together forever in eternity, allowed to travel to places they never could in life.

I have no clue what Sebastian represents.

-AfroRyan
All I know is that he's the hunter in "The Hunter and the Fox."

The Accursed Instrument

2010-09-21T14:32:00.002-05:00

Nose whistle nose whistle;
On my arms hairs bristle.
Pick your nose I won't tell;
Release me from this Hell.
I can't focus I can't think;
I confess I'm on the brink!
Please, I beg, I plead, I cry!
Blow your nose or I must die!

-AfroRyan
I wrote this in Modern English Lit...guess why.

The Life and Times of one Mario, Super

2010-09-15T10:16:00.006-05:00

I am alive, but I am not...whole; I am not complete. I feel like I've been doing the same thing over and over and over again. I do not understand why. I only know that I must go forward, and occasionally I must jump. Then everything just repeats. I don't know how long I can take this.

Start was finally pressed today...but I am unable to move; I am paralyzed with fear! The thing I've been waiting my whole life for, and I can't move! For what seems like an eternity I simply stand there, when suddenly I am overcome with the desire to move right...I can't explain it. It's like there's someone controlling me. I don't care though; I'm just happy to move forward, to jump occasionally.

I realize quickly that I can't see what's in front of me. I can only put my faith in some higher power to keep me from falling, to keep me from being killed by monsters. My faith is tested time and time again as I die. I have lost faith more than once; I have heard the Game Over music on numerous occasions. However, I always regain my faith when my God presses start; wills me forward. He still loves me unconditionally. He still wants me to be complete. He must.

Today I finally reached the castle. My God has lead me this far, and I am thankful. I feel like he is getting better at directing me. I die far less often as I once did, and I frequently feel refreshed by something I can only describe as fungal bliss. Sometimes, I feel so good that I shoot fire out of my hands...but that didn't help today. I reached a section today that wouldn't scroll, and I died a few times from fire myself. I finally overcame this obstacle however, when I touched the mighty battleaxe. I found myself excited; overwhelmed even, at the thought of finally obtaining that which would make me complete. Instead, I was greeted by some fungi that tells me that my Princess is in another castle.

I have lost faith. My God has failed me. He hasn't forgotten me, but I have forgotten him. Why would he continue torturing me if I can never reach my lover? Why would he fill my head with hopes and dreams, and repeatedly dash them as I meet fungi after fungi telling me my Princess is in another castle? Why would he do this to me?

Today I have renewed faith! Don't ask me how, but my God has led me to a portal system that let's me skip those accursed eumycetal taunters. I quickly find myself on what must be my final trials. My God has led me this far; I shall never doubt him again.

In my younger days, I'd have despaired at the misery of this final area, but now my faith is resolved. I shall not forget my God this day. He has led me to the final axe, and I know she'll be waiting. I have found my missing piece. I am complete. I know she loves me. I wait to hear her beautiful voice, and am rewarded with "Thank you Mario," you're welcome. "Your quest is over," thanks to my merciful and persistent God. "We present you a new quest," WHAT? WE? What's going on here!? "Push button B to select a world."

-AfroRyan
Super!

Updates? More like downdates, amirite?

2010-09-09T11:10:00.002-05:00

So, school's started (going to SIU, getting a Bachelor's in Creative Writing, go figure) but ironically this will give me more time to blog; I have a 2 hour break everyday. That means downtime spent in the lab will hopefully beget more articles, reviews, and general musings for your reading pleasure. One would think that I'd be turned off by extra writing when I'm going for a Creative Writing Major...well, you may be right, but we'll have to wait and see. Right now, I feel like writing on my blog. If that changes, I apologize in advance.

-AfroRyan
*whisper*I get to play Halo Reach tonight because of a dear Family Video friend*whisper*

Review: Scott Pilgrim

2010-09-09T10:19:00.003-05:00

Hipster? Yeah, but I don't care. Scott Pilgrim is a funny comic is a funny movie is a funny beatemup game. I'm specifically reviewing the last of those, however.

Scott Pilgrim, available on PSN and XBLA for $10, is the best beatemup since Castle Crashers (which was the best beatemup since ye olde days). Scott Pilgrim follows the River City Ransom (or Kunio-Kun for you Japanese purist folks out there) formula; beat people up 'til the blink and disappear, leaving coins for their destroyers to collect, and also steal their weapon if they had one. You use said coins to buy food, and said weapons to beat people up even harder. It's an addictive formula, especially back on the ole' NES/Famicom. However, Scott ups the ante in nearly every way; more enemies, more weapons, more upgrades, more moves, and 4 player co-op (which sadly isn't online). Add all this together, along with some of the best animation this side of Pirate Baby's Cabana Battle 2006 (which makes sense since Paul Roberston did most of the sprite work), along with some great chiptune music from Anamanaguchi, and Scott Pilgrim was predestined to rock hard.

Now that I've heaped on all this praise, let me step back for a second and say what I dislike about the game. First, as previously mentioned; no online co-op. WTF people? This is 2010! What were you thinking? Secondly, the game can get glitchy when you're strength is high (you hit things so hard they can fly off the screen, which can lead to some strange happenings). Thirdly, and this applies only to the XBLA version...but what happened during the playtesting guys? Were you too preoccupied being hipsters to notice the terrible stuttering in the game? Whatever, I forgive you.

Also, let me mention that although the secret modes are fun, why aren't they unlockable? Let me say for the record that I love the Boss Rush and Survival (Zombie) Modes, but why do we have to enter a code to unlock them? I realize there's still a nostalgic appeal in cheat codes, but seriously...I'd understand if after you beat the game, the cheat code popped up so you knew what to do, but instead, the developers kept it secret; the only way you'd know they existed is via word-of-mouth (or internet). Again, sometimes that's cool; even in Scott Pilgrim there's codes that do cool things that don't actually appear under the extra modes section (sword of love, blood mode, etc.). It just seems like a waste to have 2 full-fledged modes [with leaderboards even!] that are completely inaccessible to someone who doesn't know the codes (or rather, doesn't even know of their existence within the game). And that leads to my next minor issue.

Why have these modes, but skimp on the achievements? About 3 of the achievements are completely throw-away ideas (beat the game as Scott, defeat the twins simultaneously, defeat Matthew Patel without losing a life). Instead, we could have gotten 'Ultra' achievements for doing things like "Unlock Nega Scott," "Complete Boss Rush Mode," "Survive for 30 minutes in Zombie Mode," but no...we're stuck with these useless achievements that don't count for anything.

All these negatives are largely a non-issue however; the game is a blast, and if you have 3 friends who are all able to get together at once, it's a really fun local co-op game. It is totally worth the $10, and I highly recommend it. Honestly, I'd like it better than Castle Crashers if not for those minor gripes!

A- or 9/10, whatever.

-AfroRyan
Hipsters hipping hips.

GTN2BOXBLA: Gain Ground

2010-08-31T10:02:00.003-05:00

I've always been a big Sega fan. In my personal videogame developer Canon, Yu Suzuki is the undisputed God of the Arcade. That said, Yu Suzuki didn't actually have anything to do with Gain Ground...aside from being Sega related.

Gain Ground was originally released in the arcades back in 1988 (and later ported to the Master System, Genesis, and Turbo-Graphix 16, and later still remade on the PS2 as part of the SegaAges collection). It was rather unique in that it supported 3 players (not 2, not 4; 3), although the console ports only supported 2 players (obviously, the game would work well on Xbox Live regardless). Most multiplayer games back then were either straight-forward beat 'em ups or shoot 'em ups. Gain Ground has more in common with Gauntlet than it does with Double Dragon or Gradius. However, unlike Gauntlet, each player had multiple warriors to choose from. Starting at a mere 3, players were encouraged to pick up straggling warriors across its many battlefields. Also unlike Gauntlet, Gain Ground featured static levels; that is, they didn't scroll. What you see is what you get in Gain Ground, which cuts out the hack and slash monotony of Gauntlet and replaces it with a more action-packed arcadey feel.

Instead of trying to find a secret exit, or search of treasure, Gain Ground simply has the player trying to accomplish one of two goals; kill everything or have all players cross the Exit barrier. Obviously, killing everything is always the best option, but sometimes the player might find themselves in a situation where that isn't possible. Another thing that sets Gain Ground apart from Gauntlet is it's use of two ever-present attack options. Typically, this involves a speedy short-ranged attack, or a stalled long-ranged attack. The short-ranged attack works best on enemies that are "up in your grill," which is more often than not the case. However, aside from being useful with non-moving enemies, the long-ranged attacks USUALLY are able to bypass foreground barriers, i.e. they can hit enemies that might be on an inaccessible hill or rooftop. This is why sometimes it isn't feasible, or even possible, to kill every enemy on screen. The player might be stuck with the "ground specialists," characters that didn't have a long-range attack that could pass through foreground barriers; their only choice would be to avoid those enemies and have their crew pass threw the Exit barrier one at a time, extending the time spent on the level, and therefore decreasing their overall time-bonus.

From a purely story based perspective, Gain Ground wasn't super unique. You and a group of warriors are trapped inside an evil computer simulation, and must rescue your fellow soldiers. However, what makes the setting unique...or rather, convenient, is that the creators of Gain Ground weren't limited to a strict setting for their game. Wanna fight cave men? Let's do it! Wanna fight giant bugs in a scary desert? Sure! Wanna fight robots? Why do you even ask!? Recruitable characters are also diverse; from tribal cave-men to futuristic super soldiers. One would think that the future characters would always be a first choice, but more often than not people found that the "bow and arrow" characters were the most well-rounded, and therefore almost always the best choice.

It is worth mentioning that Gain Ground has a really rockin' soundtrack. Not only did each 'Age' have different music; each piece of music was super lengthy! Most songs didn't loop until a good 2 or 3 minutes, which for the time was pretty impressive. It helps that each song is also SUPER catchy, and tends to get stuck in your head.

Enough of this explaining why Gain Ground is so awesome. Here's a list of potential achievements:

Gained Ground: Beat the game.
My Favorite Character: Beat the game on Extra Mode with only 1 character.
None Left Alive: Beat the game having killed every single enemy.
Conscientious Objector: Beat the game having killed only what's necessary i.e. bosses
Take No Prisoners: Beat the game on Easy mode having never rescued any survivors.
My Own Clone: Rescue a survivor with the same character.
Cyber Funk: Using Cyber, kill five enemies with a single shot.
Your Name is Mud: Using Mud Puppy, kill all enemies on screen without moving vertically.
Trapped in the Matrix: Using Professor or Kid, kill 2 enemies with a single shot.
Not Fair: Using Water Knight, kill an enemy after trapping it in a water spout.
Pinball: Using Zaemon, kill 7 enemies with a single tornado.
General Disarray: Using General, kill every enemy on screen without ever disengaging his flamethrower.

I love Gain Ground, and you should too.

-AfroRyan
Dat Music...

Flash Game Review: Tower of Heaven

2010-08-05T20:59:00.002-05:00

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/544332
http://music.flashygoodness.com/
http://flashygoodness.com/

Tower of Heaven is utterly fantastic. It plays solidly (although for such a purposefully retro game it requires an awful lot of resources) and turns the whole established platforming formula on its head. Learning new rules is so different, so interesting, and so-much-fun. I loved every minute of it.

People complaining about the difficulty are simply too set in their old ways to accept this new style of gameplay. It's not hard at all if you follow the rules! At least...it shouldn't be hard for any Super Mario World vets.

The music is SO good. I haven't been this impressed with a chiptune soundtrack since Cave Story. Really flashygoodness, you've outdone yourself. The way the theme is incorporated into every piece without sounding repetitive or uninspired is REALLY impressive. A++.

Long story short, this game is wonderful. Anyone who enjoys a good oldschool platforming romp with new twists, great music, and solid design owes it to themselves to play through this one.

10/10, A++, 5/5 stars, etc.

-AfroRyan
It really would make a fantastic XBLA/PSN/WiiWare/DSiWare game...I'd pay upwards of $5 for it AS IS, and up to $15 for new levels, rules, and music.

Review: The Company of Myself

2010-07-01T02:32:00.002-05:00

This is a review for the flash game 'The Company of Myself,' which you can play here.

This game manages to stand near the summit of the "Games are Art" debate, even above Braid in my opinion. Many games tell stories, but rarely does the gameplay actually ADD to the story. Everything about TCoM's gameplay compliments its story.

The music is somber, and fitting for such a melancholy tale. I nearly cried at the end due to the combined effects of the narrative, music, and 'reveals.'

Speaking of the ending; the length of the game is PERFECT for a single-player story-based flash game. Everything is just interesting enough that you keep playing, and the difficulty is pretty forgiving and relaxing, yet it's challenging enough to keep just about any gamer happy. Long story short, if you quit this game before beating it then you are a bad person.

The game is very touching, and the only flaw anyone could even bring up may be concerning the graphics/animation...but I'd argue that they needed to be relatively simple in order to allow as many machines to run it as possible. I admit that it would be hard to argue that TCoM's style is 'purposely' retro. It's even hard to argue that it's 'authentic' retro. However, the graphics are still better than many flash games out there, and still manage to be stylistic and consistent. If I had to think of one reason the graphics are effective to the overall experience, then I'd argue that due to the simplistic nature of the graphics and animation, it's much easier to focus on the story, and overall meaning of objects in the game. It may also add to the overall 'wow' factor at the end; in spite of having such simplistic graphics, TCoM still manages to have such a real emotional impact.

Truly, 'The Company of Myself' is a game that will always stay with me. As far as I'm concerned, a game designer could only hope to create a game as emotionally rich, yet non-abstract as TCoM.

10/10 A+

Some Updates

2010-06-22T14:12:00.003-05:00

Not much; just some little changes here and there. I added a search bar, I added my followers, I added some linx, and I changed some profile info. Just good to know that my blog hasn't committed ritualistic suicide while I wasn't looking...blogs are known to do that.

-AfroRyan
I beat Alan Wake. I liked it.

Youtube Update

2010-04-08T01:38:00.003-05:00

I bought a nice little external standard def capture card...soooo I recorded a bunch of replays of Halo and Street Fighter. I didn't post 'em all, but I posted some. Also, I linked my cell phone, so I now have a few pet videos on my account. Anyways, be sure to check them out.

-AfroRyan
I'm living in a digital world, and I'm a digital girl.

My top 10 [console] games of all time

2010-02-18T14:30:00.016-06:00

I've been wanting to write about my favorite games for a while. I've played a lot of games, from the Atari 2600 and on, and I'm not picky when it comes to genre (minus sports games). That said, making an honest to goodness top 10 list is hard. I've said before and I'll say it again; some franchises just have an edge. Honestly, few games reach the high standard of excellence that the Zelda franchise has set. Mario is the same way, along with Metroid. So I was thinking that for my list, I'd limit it to one entry per franchise. On top of that, I thought it'd be a good idea to limit this list to console games. The entities that are console, handheld, downloadable, and PC gaming evolved in such different ways, it's amazing that we've finally arrived to a point that they can exist together at all. Lastly, let me just remind everyone that this isn't supposed to be some be all, end all list. I'm not trying to make some top 10 most influential games of all time (that would be too hard), I'm just making a list of my to 10 favorite videogames of all time, based solely on my personal opinion.

Alright then, let's get to it.

10. Halo

Let's get this out of the way...yes, I know that Halo is overrated, and yes, I know that it's fanbase is full of brodudeskis that only play mature games for mature gamers such as themselves, but that doesn't change the fact that Halo is a damned fine first person shooter.

Halo for me is one of those dirty little secrets. I know a lot of SERIOUS GAEMERS don't take Halo seriously because it didn't actually do anything new or interesting. That may be, but I'll be damned if it doesn't combine all of those old, uninteresting things into some sort of near perfect shooting experience.

First thing to note is that Halo popularized and perfected the twin stick FPS control scheme. Yes, other games did it before it did. However, none of those games went on to be as successful as Halo. It also popularized regenerating health and a two weapon limit...again, it wasn't the first that did it, but it never claimed that it was; fans did that after the fact. Halo never presented itself as being anything but a sci-fi military shooter, and I don't fault it for that. It had cool sci-fi guns, cool sci-fi vehicles, and cool sci-fi aliens; that's all I wanted out of it, and it delivered on my expectations...and then some.

The story may have been a cliche last Spartan/Sci fi/military adventure amalgam, but that didn't mean it had nothing new to offer. The first time I set the Master Chief's feet on the halo, and looked up to see it in all of its splendor, I couldn't help but feel awestruck. For a fleeting moment, I actually imagined how awesome it would be to explore this structure, as if it were really connected to the spot I was standing on and not just a ridiculously awesome skybox. One of the story elements that is easily overlooked now (and even despised at this point) involving the SPOILER ALERT Flood was a total shocker at the time. Until the level they were revealed, it was nothing but awesome fights with the Predator-like Elites and their little Grunt and Jackal minions (with the occasional Hunter pair thrown in for good measure), and there was no reason to assume this was going to change...nor was there necessarily any desire for it.

The AI was (and is still) impressive, and fighting the Elites while they did everything from dodging for cover when a grenade got too close to charging forward when your shields were down was something you just didn't see in most FPS games at the time...other games were more like IMMA SHOOT AT YOU UNTIL YOU DIE OR YOU SHOOT ME DEAD. Of course, if that's your thing then the Flood certainly added that play mechanic after their introduction. The actual reveal of the Flood was pretty awesome too, and it was awesome seeing the relatively mindless Flood fighting the smarty Covenant. 3 way battles in an FPS, a console FPS no less...unheard of!

And if the single player wasn't your bag, there was an awesomely balanced multiplayer for anyone willing to give it a chance. Sure the pistol was a bit on the strong side, but with some of the best symmetrical maps this side of Facing Worlds or 2Fort, that hardly mattered. Add some fantastic vehicle gameplay, and you have a recipe for one of the most fun competitive multiplayer experiences you could ever hope to...experience. CTF on Blood Gulch anyone?

9. Super Mario RPG

Ironic that my favorite Square developed RPG isn't a Final Fantasy, let alone a Square franchise. Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars, or simply Mario RPG, is arguably the most fun you'll ever have with an RPG. Of course, the arguments that could ensue following that statement would involve other Mario RPGs (Paper Mario, Mario and Luigi), so regardless, the most fun you could ever have with an RPG WILL involve Mario in some form. The main reason Mario RPG is so fun involves the timing mechanic involved with the main battle system. Most JRPGs rely completely on turn based gameplay, and very little else. Mario RPG, on the other hand, threw a wrench into that clockwork, and encouraged the player to press the attack button at precisely the right moment after that attack initiated to gain extra damage. This also applies to defense, so time that button perfect when an enemy attacks, and you'll take significantly less damage. Considering that the timing is different per character/enemy, and you can see why the battle system is considered more engaging than other typical JRPGs.

I hate random battles, so it's a good thing that Mario RPG doesn't have them. Instead, enemies appear on screen and will attack you if you venture too close. You can jump over them if you're quick enough, or avoid them outright if you're too chicken. This allows more skilled players (ones that are good at timed hits) to simply avoid tedious grinding, since they can rely on their own reaction time instead of a simple numbers game. Awesome, I say.

It's important to note that while the story is interesting and well paced, it never takes itself too seriously. After all, it is Mario RPG, not Final Fantasy 7. Jokes are heavily interwoven throughout the narrative, and there are plenty of inside jokes on top of that for the Nintendo/Square faithful.

Mario RPG is awesome. The battle system is awesome. The story is funny (and awesome). The characters are awesome. The music is awesome. Mario RPG is awesome.

8. Phantasy Star Online

I was tempted to put Phatasy Star IV on this list...but then I decided against it in favor of its modern brother, Phantasy Star Online. PSO is more or less a modern day Gauntlet, with a bit of Diablo thrown in for good measure. 4 players crawl through a dungeon killing monsters, looking for treasure, and repeat. It's crazy fun, addictive, and relaxing. Just 4 friends sitting around, killing countless monsters in a variety of randomly generated dungeons, hoping for a rare monster or rare drop, or just hoping to make it to the boss and gain lots of experience. It's an addictive formula, and was the number 1 reason to own a Dreamcast that wasn't called Soul Calibur. Add to this a fairly interesting story, some great expansions, cool contests, and PSO becomes even more appealing. It's a pretty simple, strait forward game, and that's why I like it. Oh, and holy crap the music is great. If I were to make a top ten videogame music list...PSO would be in the top 3, that's for sure.

7. Mass Effect

Mass Effect. It's awesome, and everyone should play it. It's sequel is even more awesome. Why is it then that Mass Effect is at #7 and Mass Effect 2 isn't? Simple; Mass Effect introduced me to its [inter]stellar universe and colorful array of characters, species, and locales. While Mass Effect 2 improves upon the original's formula in just about every way, it doesn't have that "Holy cow, this is crazy interesting" hook that the original did...at least not to newcomers. Sure, importing your save from the original is interesting to series veterans...but to people who didn't play the original who are stupid enough to start with the 2nd...they aren't going to be blown away the same way they would have had they started with the first. It'd be like starting [insert trilogy here] at the second movie; sure, it may be entertaining, but it's going to be confusing. tl;dr Start with the first or it's gonna be overwhelming.

ME manages to create a new, interesting genre melding...that of the third person shooter, RPG, visual novel, and dating sim genres...or TPSRPGVNDS for short. Allow me to explain. The player shoots enemies in third person, he gains experience that goes towards leveling up and enhancing his (or her) stats and abilities, then you talk about stuff in an engrossing choose-your-own-adventure style dialogue tree system that is intensely interesting, and then whilst doing all of that you have the option to court a fellow team member. You get to decide whether Shepard is an evil prick or a kindly saint, who to kill and who to save, who to have sexy time with and who to friend zone. You also get to make important story decisions that carry over into the sequel (and the sequel after that), so choose carefully.

To sum up Mass Effect in one sentence; Mass Effect is like playing an epic sci-fi trilogy where you get to influence the beginning, middle, and end in significant ways. Yeah, I know there's more to it than that...but I think that's the most universally appealing thing about it. Besides, if you say you're playing it for it's "engrossing gunplay" or "great cover system," or even its "awesome dialogue system," you're kind of missing the point.

6. Sonic 3 and Knuckles

16 bit era Sonic the Hedgehog was awesome. His games had awesome colorful graphics, they were easy to beat for a kid, while still managing to be challenging enough to interest 'hardcore' folks (Sonic speed runs are fun to watch), and had some truly classic music. To me, Sonic 3 and Knuckles sums up why 16 bit era Sonic was awesome. Lock-on technology aside, Sonic 3 and Knuckles managed to impress on nearly every level (and by every level, I mean every individual element in the game...but I guess it works on a literal...level...as well).

S3&K had impressive music for the Genesis sound chip, not to mention being very catchy and hummable. It also had no slow down to speak of (which is important in a game all about speed), multiple animated background layers, 14 emeralds to collect in super cool 3D bonus levels, tons of enemy types unique to each zone, fun boss fights at the end of each act (that's right, act, not zone), 3 playable characters (Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles) each with unique abilities and end bosses, and lastly a save system.

Most of my friends skipped over Sonic and Knuckles...something I don't particularly blame them for. On its own, S&K is simply a fun, albeit short Sonic game with 2 playable characters, a couple of particularly hard acts, a sweet end boss, and no save system. Once locked onto Sonic 3 though, it becomes some sort of mega game that no other 2D platformer before or sense has managed to come close to in terms of variety (even Mario). It's just a shame that most people overlooked it as some sort of gimmick...which it was, I admit...but it was a gimmick that actually lived up to the hype, and delivered on every feature it promised. If you claim to be a Sonic fan, but haven't played through Sonic 3 and Knuckles...do yourself a favor and play it from beginning to end in one sitting. I promise you will not come away disappointed.

5. Earthbound

2 Nintendo related SNES JRPGs on one top 10 list! What's my problem?

My problem is, that of all the JRPGs that are hailed as classics, Earthbound is never taken seriously amongst the Square faithful. They look at it as some sort of quirky Dragon Quest ripoff that for some reason beyond their comprehension, has a small but very devoted group of fans dedicated to spreading the gospel that is Mother 2. Well JRPG brethren, gather 'round, and let me tell you why Earthbound deserves this spot on my top 10 list.

While the argument that Earthbound is nothing but a quirky Dragon Quest ripoff isn't entirely inaccurate, it is a gross oversimplification. At first glance, it seems that the whole "no characters on the screen except the enemy during fights" thing would be the only nail required to close this coffin...but it takes a lot more than that to bury Earthbound. Visual resemblances aside, the battle system is considerably different than Dragon Quest, or anything else for that matter. I very rarely hear people talk about how cool the health dials were, and I can only assume that's because many people didn't even notice them. Earthbound has a unique stat called 'guts' that increases the chances of your HP stopping at 1 even if you were hit with an otherwise fatal attack. It also decreases the speed at which your HP dial rolls down. This means that even if you were hit with an attack that did 9999 damage and you only had 300 HP, as long as your guts were high enough, you could heal yourself before your dial hit 0 (or 1 if you got lucky). Once you realized the dial wasn't just a visual representation of your characters' HP, but an honest to goodness gameplay mechanic, the otherwise tough, slow moving battles suddenly became easier, and much much much quicker. It keeps the battles fresh and exciting, and manages to make a simple numbers game much more interesting.

A couple of other things I should mention that sets Earthbound apart...there are no random battles (like Mario RPG), and grinding is made quicker and easier. How, you may ask? By engaging a low level opponent (low level in comparison to your party), you will automatically win the fight. No quick hits of the action button; simply walk into the enemy, watch the screen react like you were about to start a fight, and BAM you already won the match and got any minimal experience and items associated with the low level opponent. If only more JRPGs did this, the world would be a better place.

Another reason why Earthbound deserves to be on this list doesn't involve graphics, story, or battle system (even though all those things are interesting), but its music. JRPGs in particular are known for their epic tunes, and I'm not going to argue that Final Fantasy as a franchise has some of the best music in the industry, but Earthbound does something with its music that very few developers are willing to do; be different. Actually, that pretty much applies to Earthbound as a whole...everything about it is different than the norm. The music always manages to be interesting, shifting its style throughout the entire game. If you had to classify the music as a single genre, you wouldn't get anywhere; it's simply drawing from too many influences. One minute you'd think "Oh, there's some techno," and the next thing you know and it's switched to rockabilly...then you get something that sounds like the Beatles...and then there's some heavy metal. You would think that all these different influences would result in some sort of random mishmash of nonsense, but instead you get music that fits the moment. The game doesn't worry about confusing the player...that's pretty obvious from the beginning, and honestly that's half the point...but there's something incredibly charming, even artistic, in its presentation. If any JRPG could truly be called surrealistic, Earthbound (or Mother as a franchise) would be the ultimate example. One minute you're at a library just looking for a map, the next you're riding a lake monster, and the next you're trapped in a dream world where everything is bizarre and backward. All the while, the music fits the moment, and instead of being utterly confused, the player feels like it all fits together and makes sense somehow. I really could go on and on about how awesome the music is in Earthbound, but I'll leave it at that.

In fact, I'll leave it all at that. I don't want to ruin the ride for anyone willing to give it a go. It's an amazing experience, and it is unlike anything you might hope to experience from something else...like Final Fantasy.

4. Perfect Dark

Here it is. The [spiritual sequel to the] granddaddy of all console FPSs. Perfect Dark improves upon Goldeneye's formula in literally every way. It has better guns, better level design, better AI, better graphics (thanks in part to the require expansion pack), better story (duh, Goldeneye wasn't exactly remembered as a crowning gem in the overall Bond mythos), and even *gasp* better music...of course, I would expect nothing less from Rare in that particular department. All this, and the multiplayer mode adds bots, BOTS, in a console FPS. 10 years later and that's still a 'Rare'ity.

Alright, first the guns. There are a total of 35 weapons, each with a secondary fire mode. That's a total of 70 different ways to kill someone. That's a LOT of ways to kill someone. But what's that I hear, you still want your Goldeneye weapons? That's cool, they're there too. Really, you can't argue that Goldeneye has better weapons than Perfect Dark...you just can't...don't even try.

Next, better level design. Goldeneye had some great moments within the single player campaign, one of the greatest being in the first level (WWWWOOOOOOOOOOO BUNGEE CORD), but overall the levels were a bit disjointed and the mission objectives a little vague. Perfect Dark changes this up by having a cool little hub world, and allows the player to just fart around between missions, while also adding a feeling of stability, of continuity; a real world. The overall mission objectives are also less vague, but still challenging. Admittedly, I still miss some of the multiplayer levels from Goldeneye (mostly Bunker), but the 3 other most popular maps are still there (Complex, Facility [renamed Felicity], and Temple), and the new maps are all really fun (hooray for Warehouse).

The AI in the original Goldeneye was...stupid. They just kind of stood there and got shot. In Perfect Dark it's a whole different story. Namely, they run around randomly a lot more. Although that hardly sounds like an improvement, Perfect Dark increases the number of visible enemies on screen by quite a bit in comparison to Goldeneye. So, not only are there like 3 people randomly running and shooting, there's another 3 just standing and shooting, and another 3 just running. This makes things pretty confusing, and on harder difficulties, the ones that are shooting never miss. That's quite a bit more challenging than Goldeneye ever was, that's for sure.

Those other things are less opinion and simply a matter of course. Perfect Dark has better graphics than Goldeneye. It also came out years after Goldeneye and requires an expansion pack. Goldeneye has a better story than Goldeneye. Well, although that's a matter of opinion, Perfect Dark wasn't based on a movie; we didn't know what was going to happen next. That makes things considerably more interesting than playing a game based on a movie that you've seen. And Perfect Dark has better music...this is purely based on opinion, but the Bond theme can only be remixed so many different ways before you get tired of it. Perfect Dark is 100% original music by Rare maestro Grant Kirkhope. Although I enjoy his music in Banjo-Kazooie the most, Perfect Dark is a nice blend of cheesy sci-fi effects, trance, and action movie beats. Fitting stuff overall, and catchy too.

Let me leave you with one thing. Anyone who says they like Goldeneye better than Perfect Dark is either lying, hasn't played Perfect Dark, or stupid.

3. Super Mario 64

Mario. He's Super. So is his brother...what was his name again? Mr. Green? Whatever, this is Super Mario 64, not Super Mario Bros 64. Let's get this out of the way: ALL OF THE MAIN SERIES MARIO GAMES ARE STELLAR. THEY ARE ALL VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY GOOD, AND VERY FEW GAMES EVEN COME CLOSE TO REACHING THEIR HIGH LEVEL OF QUALITY, LENGTH, AND OVERALL CRAFTSMANSHIP THAT MARIO DOES. Alright, with that out of the way, let me argue my point why Mario 64 deserves this spot more than the others.

Simply put, Mario 64 blew my mind. As a kid, I had fun playing Super Mario Bros 3, Super Mario World, and Yoshi's Island. However, Yoshi's Island was the only Mario game until 64 that even came close to making me think or care about the Mario universe in any real way. Of course, Mario RPG did too, but that was an RPG, it was supposed to. When Mario 64 came out, I was simply blown away. The story wasn't anything super in depth (MARIO COME EAT SOME CAKE I MADE, OH NO BOWSER HELP!) but the transition to 3D made everything real to me. If only I could run over that hill outside the castle, I could have seen more of Mushroom Kingdom! Of course, I knew there wasn't anything out there, but it's a lot easier to imagine that sort of thing compared to the backgrounds in 2D Marios.

All that aside, Mario 64 is still regarded as one of the most playable, fun, and overall challenging (in a good way) 3D games ever made. Considering it was the first free roaming 3D platformer ever made, this is amazing. Developers worldwide STILL can't figure out how to position a virtual camera in a 3D environment. Sure, Mario 64 isn't perfect in that regard, but it's darn near close (and every 3D Mario since HAS perfected it).

The game was also so well paced. You had to collect stars in order to advance, but you had a certain amount of freedom in the order you wanted to collect them, and also which level to collect them from. Very few games at the time, 3D or otherwise, allowed this amount of freedom (except for other Nintendo games, like Zelda or Metroid). As far as replayability goes, it helps immensely that the player can kind of skip around and not have to play the game EXACTLY the same way every time they play it.

And the music. As with every other Mario game ever made, it's absolutely classic. It's quite a bit more varied than Mario games in the past, experimenting with different instruments and genres across all of the themed levels, of which there are many. 120 stars to collect across 24 levels. That's a lot of gameplay, and a lot of different music.

Super Mario 64 stands as one of the best examples of how far games have come in such a short time. It also stands as one of the best examples on how to keep a franchise relevant. Actually, Mario 64 stands as a lot of things. That's why it deserves to be in my (or anyone's) top 10.

2. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

Alrighty. Like the last game on the list, the Zelda franchise as a whole is remarkable. Every entry has something extremely unique, while retaining the same basic gameplay mechanics that made the first Zelda so good (get item, find dungeon, explore dungeon, get item, beat boss, repeat). While the first game was unique simply in that it introduced that addictive formula, the sequels (even if number 2 changed it from an overhead perspective to a sidescrolling mess) all introduced some sort of innovative gameplay element. Link to the Past had a "Dark World" that the player could switch to at any time (eventually) that could be altered by changing things in the default Light World (or vice verca). Link's Awakening (and the other GB/GBC Zeldas) changed the gameplay drastically by requiring the player to only hold 2 items at once (counting sword and shield). Ocarina of Time, not entirely unlike Link to the Past, allowed the player to alter different plains of reality as well, only this time via time travel.

Of course, Zelda has continued this trend; Majora's Mask introduces a focus on magical masks that transform Link into other species (as well as a Groundhog's Day style time travel element), Wind Waker has Link in control of the power of wind (which is important since ALL OF HYRULE IS UNDERWATER AND NOW ONLY A FEW ISLANDS REMAIN AND LINK HAS TO TRAVEL BY SAILBOAT) and Twilight Princess returns to the idea of Light and Dark worlds...also Link can transform into a wolf for some reason. Even the handheld games kept this trend of changing things drastically (Oracle of Ages involved time travel, Oracle of Seasons involved weather manipulation, and Minish Cap was all about shrinking down to the size of a bug). The DS Zeldas use the touch screen (and have unique puzzles related to it)...also there is a magical choo-choo train in one of them.

All said, there's a lot of great Zelda games to choose from; all unique for their own reasons. However, the reason I chose OoT instead of Link to the Past (a game I constantly defend against 'new-age' Zelda fanboys) or any of the other stellar Zelda games is simple...and a little bit predictable given my previous entry. OoT introduced gamers to an amazingly well designed 3D world, and unlike Mario 64 where you're restricted to Peach's castle (detached painting worlds aside), OoT had players exploring an absolutely massive world. The world was consistent, a fact that not only made the player feel more engrossed in a game than they had probably ever felt up until that point, but also was an intentional design decision for gameplay. How else are the players supposed to have a time traveling adventure in which things in the future are affected by things you did in the past? If it was a disjointed mess, there's no way a player would know what to do and where to start.

Besides introducing an engrossing 3D world with a clever time travel twist, OoT followed the Zelda formula to the letter. The difference is in its pacing; OoT was the first Zelda to include a substantial narrative. Yeah, there were people that would talk to you in past Zelda's, and sure they helped drive the plot or add depth, but OoT in comparison had multiple times more text, and that's just the text required for progressing the narrative. That is to say, the player is required to interact with individuals in OoT in order to advance in the major story, not just engage in fetch quests (not that those are missing, though). This is a pretty huge difference from older Zeldas, which had maybe a paragraph or three's worth of text for the required story sequences. To sum up, the added emphasis on narrative created a much more engrossing experience for players, and helped cement Ocarina of Time in my top 10.

1. Super Metroid

Mario, Zelda, and now Metroid. Let me mention that all of the Metroids are at least good. Unlike Mario and Zelda, the first couple of Metroids haven't exactly aged well. Metroid for the NES is virtually unplayable without a map (since there isn't a built in map system), and has no saving system on top of that. Metroid 2 is pretty good, but is actually a little too open ended for its own good (mainly because, again, there isn't a built in map). Let me skip ahead to say that the post Super Metroid Metroids are all fantastic. Metroid Prime, Metroid Fusion, and Metroid Zero Mission (a remake of the NES original) are all top notch games...even Metroid Prime Pinball is awesome. But none of them are as well paced, as xenophobic, or as engrossing as Super Metroid.

For me, Super Metroid is the perfect game. It tells a story without text (minus the opening bit), and just drops the player in the middle of a wonderfully realized alien planet left to their own devices. Super Metroid took the original formulas presented in the first 2 games and perfected them. The player must explore their surroundings in any order they wish, and if they hit a dead end they have a map to keep track of places they have and haven't been. If a dead end is reached, the player will just choose a different path to take on their way back, and somewhere in all that exploring the player will discover new technology for Samus; technology that will help them get past those dead ends. It's a good formula, with most of the major technology guarded by epic boss fights.

The graphics in Super Metroid are some of the best on the SNES (in all of 2D gaming history, even), with superb animations, backgrounds, and design. Each area of the game is unique, and really makes the world feel alive. The music compliments the various areas; haunting yet catchy tunes that make the player feel like they're playing some fantastic sci-fi movie.

Gameplay wise, everything feels right; nice responsive controls and lots of different things to do. Shoot, jump, roll into a ball, drop bombs, change between regular shots and missiles, wall jump, run fast, jump high, TONS OF STUFF and it all feels right. Plus, part of the game is underwater and the gameplay reflects that with lower gravity. Pretty sweet stuff.

Going back to the story; like I said, there isn't any text throughout the game after the opening sequence. All the opening sequence establishes is that Samus killed all the Metroids except one that hatched at the end of Metroid 2 and though Samus was its mommy. Being the bounty hunter that she is, Samus takes the Metroid hatchling to some scientists for what I assume is a ton of space cash. Then some space pirates start some crap and she has to take care of it. BOOM you're on the scientist space station and all Hell has broken loose. The scientists are all dead and the space pirates have taken the baby Metroid. BOOM there's a crazy self destruct sequence and the player has to get out of the space station before it explodes. BOOM you're off the space station and land on Zebes and it's time to explore. Skip forward to the end of the game when you're fighting Mother Brain. You're forced to loose, when who else but BABY METROID saves the day, sacrificing himself/herself/itself to save Samus. Now I assume Samus feels pretty guilty for giving the Metroid to the science team in the first place and for getting the little guy who gave up his live to save hers killed. Of course, this is told via gameplay with zero text and left up to the player's imagination to fill in those emotional gaps. Other players might have simply thought "lucky break for me...stupid space jellyfish."

All in all, Super Metroid is brilliant and deserves its spot at number 1. If you haven't played it, then do yourself a favor and DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO PLAY THROUGH THIS MASTERPIECE; you won't regret it.

I already know what many of you are thinking; "WHAT, NO FINAL FANTASY, THIS GUY IS SUCH A HUGE POSER HE KNOWS NOTHING OF HIGH CLASS GAMING." Listen, I hear ya. I like Final Fantasy (especially the music). However, every single one of them is severely flawed in one way or another, and I simply couldn't find it in me to put any of them in my top 10 list. Even my favorite one (FF9) fell apart at the end. Add to this a strong personal opinion that random battles are ANNOYING and STUPID, and maybe you'll see why I didn't bother with the Final Fantasy franchise. Also, let me remind everyone out there that may have forgotten; this is a console list. There's a reason why Half Life and Pokemon and Braid aren't on here. Don't get your panties in a bunch.

-AfroRyan
tl;dr

UPDATE:

Figured I'd let you guys know why a certain tactical espionage action game isn't on the list...because as much as I like the series...I have a hard time putting up something in my top 10 that is like 10% game, and 90% cinematics...sooo, yeah, sorry Metal Gear fans. Believe me, I didn't want to leave it out...I mean, I own every entry in the series on top of all the super fancy super editions that get released in the states. I'm a fan, a super fan even...but I really just don't consider it much of a game (in the same way that I don't consider Indigo Prophecy or Heavy Rain games).

UPDATE 2 (04/29/11):

Now that Metroid: Other M, I figured I HAD to come back and say that it's pretty bad and ruins everything I loved about Metroid as a franchise (and accordingly, ruins Samus as a character). By the same token, it represents everything I HATE about mainstream Japanese pop-culture storytelling tropes, minus the pedophilia. Thanks Team Ninja for setting my favorite franchise back 20 years!

Little Update

2010-01-20T05:09:00.002-06:00

Busy busy busy. Busy? No, just busy.

BTW, got a contest going on over at HBO. Why not win a Sgt. Johnson Code? Just replicate my screenshot!

Also, I updated my links to have my old DeviantArt account, 'cause I just uploaded a bunch of pictures from my drawing classes. Also, added my Youtube for the heck of it. Uploaded an old video I made a while back in an animation class I took featuring Gain Ground.

-AfroRyan
BUSY

GTN2BOXBLA: Halo Custom Edition

2009-07-26T15:57:00.005-05:00

If there's one thing that most Xbox owners can agree on, it's this: it sucks that downloadable Xbox games don't have achievements. Sure, it's cool and convenient to get some of the rarer titles, like Psychonauts. However, for a person that already owns such titles, there is literally no incentive whatsoever to buy the downloadable version. Sure, I guess for games like Halo where you could still have a LAN it would be convenient to have it downloaded to your HDD instead of tracking down your disk, but $15 is a lot to pay for such a small convenience. So, without further adieu, I give you

Games That NEED to be on XBLA: Halo Custom Edition

I see that look you're giving your computer and therefore are vicariously giving to me. You're saying "But Halo is already an Xbox Originals download, it'd be stupid to rerelease it!" To which I reply...yeah, you're kind of right, but hear me out.

Aside from the fact that Halo is popular enough to rerelease almost indefinitely, console gamers are still missing a substantial part of the experience that only PC and MAC gamers got to experience; online Halo 1. Halo PC, along with its MOD heavy multiplayer only counterpart Halo Custom Edition, not only offered the original Halo in higher resolution than its Xbox brother, but also offered online multiplayer with up to 16 players. Now, I realize that Halo 2 and 3 offer the same experience, but ask nearly any hardcore Halo fan what they would rather do given the chance: play Halo 3 online, or play Halo 1 online. 9 times out of 10 I bet they pick Halo 1. Although you'd have to be a fanboy to call the original Halo's gameplay balanced (OMG THE PISTOL ISN'T OVERPOWERED IT'S JUST DEADLY IN A SKILLED PLAYERS HANDS), one would be hard pressed to find anyone willing to say that Halo 2 or 3 have better maps than 1. In fact, Halo 1's muliplayer map design is so well done, I doubt any future Halos, heck, any FPS will live up to its high standard in that particular nuance. All that said, I bet you're starting to see my point; people would pay for a console version of Halo 1 if it had online multiplayer. Here's how I think they could do it; either they could port Halo PC over to the console single player intact OR they could port over Halo Custom Edition along with all it's crazy user created content.

Now, it should go without saying that an XBLA release of Halo should include the 6 exclusive PC maps, and that they would include the standard achievements and leaderboards required for every XBLA release. It would be awesome if they could go the extra mile and add online co-op (which was strangely missing from the original's release). I wouldn't really expect them to add online co-op, but it would be pretty sweet nonetheless. I suspect a leaderboard for Halo would either involve a total number of online muliplayer kills, or a speedrun leaderboard for the single player campaign, or both. As far as achievements, I reckon they would go something like this:

I Can't Wait for the Sequel: Complete the campaign on any difficulty
Heroic: Complete the campaign on Heroic difficulty
Legendary: Complete the campaign on Legendary difficulty
Bang, Zoom, to the Moon: Launch a Warthog a predetermined length
What did he just say?: Find the food nipple grunt
Mythic: Listen to Marty's hidden song
Megg: Find the elusive Megg easter egg
Superior: In a ranked match, kill an opponent with just 3 shots from the M6D
Seven is Darker: Kill 777 people total
Killtacular: People used to think 4 in a row was HUGE
Well Traveled: Play a full ranked game on every multiplayer map
Blood Gulch Chronicles: Play a private match on Blood Gulch starring the original cast of RvB.

I should elaborate for the last achievement. It would involve a party of 9 players, each wearing a specific armor color corresponding to the original Red vs Blue cast. For the record, that's Blue for Caboose, Cobalt for Church, Cyan for Tucker, Black for Tex, Red for Sarge, Orange for Grif, Maroon for Simmons, Light Red for Donut, and Brown for Lopez. Also, it would need to be played with vehicles, because we can't forget about Sheila.

The other option for a release of Halo on XBLA is a gimped multiplayer only version. Again, I'd expect at the very least it would include the 6 exclusive PC maps, but if they REALLY wanted to make fans happy, they could create a site online that houses user map Halo Custom Edition maps that allows Xbox Live members to cue up specific maps for download. Of course, that would require a pretty huge amount of work on Microsoft's part, but I personally think it would be worth it. If they didn't have user made content, we could at least hope that they would update the online interface to mirror Halo 2 and 3's experience system. I don't imagine that would take too much work, and it would help the game feel fresh even if it only included the original multiplayer maps. Just for fun, here's a second list of achievements that are multiplayer only:

Superior: In a ranked match, kill an opponent with just 3 shots from the M6D
Predator: In a ranked match, kill an opponent from behind while invisible
Seven is Darker: Kill 777 people total
Killtacular: People used to think 4 in a row was HUGE
Running Riot: Killing 10 people without dying seemed so much harder back then
Well Traveled: Play a full ranked game on every multiplayer map
Team Player: Win a team game with the highest score on your team
One Man Army: Win a ranked free for all match by having at least a 10 kill lead
Flag Fan: Capture 7 enemy flags
My Precious: Win an Oddball match with at least a 20 second lead
Why did they get rid of this?: Win a race
Hail to the King: Win a game of King of the Hill with at least a 15 second lead
Blood Gulch Chronicles: Play a private match on Blood Gulch starring the original cast of RvB.

Obviously, there's some overlap. If the impossible happened, and they allowed user generated content, I imagine there would be at least one achievement based on that.

Halo 1's multiplayer NEEDs to be experienced on a modern day connection on a modern day console with modern day people. It would undoubtedly become one of XBLA's fastest selling games, and would reignite the passion for the franchise in the heart's of fans across the globe.

-AfroRyan
I didn't forget about all you Xlink Kai players

GTN2BOXBLA: Cosmic Spacehead

2009-06-16T15:12:00.004-05:00

Cosmic Spacehead is a game near and dear to my heart. I used to play it all the time as a kid, and practically have the first 3 hours of the game memorized (i.e. the whole game). Cosmic Spacehead is a hybrid point-and-click adventure/platformer/racing game. The main game consists of the point-and-click stuff, following all the standard rules of the genre (Observe problem, get item, fix problem, repeat). The platforming sections make up the rest of the game, where the player has to deal with Cosmic's ridiculously short jumping ability. It's challenging, but never unfair. The racing segment is basically a retooled micromachines, which makes sense since it's by the same developer.

It's beautiful considering its limitations; the original Genesis version came out in 1990, and yet manages to have vibrant colors, original character and level design, and even has a pretty catchy (albeit limited) soundtrack.

The game also came with a built in "pie-slap" minigame, which was really just a Combat rip-off...but it was fun anyways...so yeah, online multiplayer lol.

Potential Achievements:
Freebird - Send the Cyclops on a grand journey
HOW MUCH!? - Obtain the color camera
Jackpot - Get a jackpot on the fruit machine
Number 1 - Win the Bumper Car Races
Extra Man - Collect 10 candies
No Mans - Complete a platforming section without dying
Surf's Up - Complete the surfing section
Slap! - Win a game of Pie Slap
They Exist - Complete the game
Completionist - Hear the majority of the dialogue
Baby Fark McGee-zax - Collect all the space bucks
Old School - Black and White even

Considering the increasing popularity in the thought-to-be-dead point-and-click genre, I'd say Cosmic Spacehead would do a good job carving its own niche in the niche genre. It's one thing to drive a car and play a mini game in Sam and Max...it's another for half the game to be a platformer.

-AfroRyan
Of course the South Park reference would have to go...

GTNA: Pokemon

2009-06-15T17:36:00.004-05:00

So I've decided to evolve my original "Games that NEED to be on XBLA." The more I try to think up games that NEEDed to be on XBLA, the more my brain kept going to Nintendo franchises. So, instead of having that omnipresent feeling in the back of my mind, I figured I'd act on the feeling and simply talk about the purely hypothetical existence of a downloadable version of Pokemon Red/Blue. So, here goes, the first

Games That NEED Achievements: Pokemon

A game as time consuming as Pokemon NEEDs achievements. You know how awesome I'd feel if I had an achievement that said "You are a Pokemon Master," or "You collected all 151 pokemans?" SUPER AWESOME is the answer to that question. The whole franchise would be perfect as downloadable titles...you eliminate 'poor sports' by making it virtually impossible to trade with yourself via two games/game consoles. You actually force people to play with each other in order to collect all the pokemon as was originally intended. Being downloadable, it goes without saying that it would be online; no need for link cables, wireless hotspots, or any of that jazz. Online tournaments would be handled so much better through a service like Xbox Live, and trading pokemon would be a simple "invite friend to game" click away...none of that calling them via cell phone to ask them if they want to trade pokemon crap, just a simple "hey, so-and-so is onine and playing pokemon! I bet he would like to trade/battle!"

Potential Achievements:
RED VERSION:
Pokemon Master - Become a Pokemon Master (Defeat the Elite 4)
Caught 'em All! - Collect all 150 original Pokemon
BFF - Never take your starter out of your party until it is leveled to 100.
Super Team - Train no less than 6 pokemon to level 100
I Love Collecting - Obtain every known HM and TM
Poor Little Guy - Teach a single pokemon 4 different HMs
Rocked His Socks - Obtain your first gym badge
Twisted Fire Starter aka Hard Mode - Choose the Fire Pokemon as your starter
Millionaire - Collect 1,000,000 money
Wanna Be My Friend? - Collect all pokemon exclusive to Red Version
Legendary - Catch your first legendary pokemon
It's nice to have friends - Evolve a Pokemon by trading it.

BLUE VERSION:
Pokemon Master - Become a Pokemon Master (Defeat the Elite 4)
Caught 'em All! - Collect all 150 original Pokemon
BFF - Never take your starter out of your party until it is leveled to 100.
Super Team - Train no less than 6 pokemon to level 100
I Love Collecting - Obtain every known HM and TM
Poor Little Guy - Teach a single pokemon 4 different HMs
Rocked His Socks - Obtain your first gym badge
I Like Turtles aka Easy Mode - Choose the Water Pokemon as your starter
Millionaire - Collect 1,000,000 money
Wanna Be My Friend? - Collect all pokemon exclusive to Blue Version
Legendary - Catch your first legendary pokemon
It's nice to have friends - Evolve a Pokemon by trading it.

I'd love to add more achievements, but I'm purposely restricting myself to 12 like any XBLA game. It's also a good way to weed out any boring achievements, and limit myself in order to make the best list possible. I'd like to have some for battling online, but that could always be included in DLC...lol.

DLC Achievements:
He wasn't under the truck - Catch Mew
With friends like these - Defeat your first online opponent
Battle Frontier Mater - Conquered the Battle Frontier

Bam!

-AfroRyan
I caught 'em all, but all you have is my word on it.

GTN2BOXBLA: Puzzle Bobble

2009-06-14T21:37:00.004-05:00

I freaking love Puzzle Bobble/Bust-a-Move. If you don't know what game I'm talking about...Snood. Snood is the bastard freeware turned commercial ripoff of Puzzle Bobble...that for some stupid reason, is more recognizable among the American gaming crowd than the OG.

Puzzle Bobble is sweet for a number of reasons. Firstly, its awesome multiplayer. The back and forth battles of Puzzle Bobble are so freaking intense I don't even know how to properly explain it. The way the board drops on you or your opponent depending on how well you're doing is just so crazy, you don't even know.

The single player experience is also a fun time. You've got a puzzle mode where you only get a certain number of shots before the board collapses, and an Outrun "choose your own path" style battle mode where you fight different AI opponents. And of course there's the standard endless mode. A game worth having even if you didn't have any friends.

Potential Achievements:
Long Journey: Reach the end of the Single Player Journey Mode
The Road Less Traveled: Reach the end of every possible route in Single Player Journey Mode
Puzzled: Beat Puzzle Mode
Hooray: Get a High Score in Endless Mode
This is Fun: Finish the Vs mode
This is Hard: Finish the Vs mode on Hard
Victory: Get 1 ranked win
Expert Player: Get 100 ranked wins
Smarty Pants: Finish 10 puzzles in the least amount of shots possible
Genius: Finish all puzzles in the least amount of shots possible
Edge of Your Seat: Come back from having only one unit of space left on the playing field
Rainbow: Popped every color of bubble

The only thing I hate about Puzzle Bobble is its myriad releases. Puzzle Bobble 2 is the pinnacle of the franchise, and any entry past that sucks for one reason or another. The major problem with future releases is the addition of multiple multiplayer characters, each with his or her (or its) own unique advantages and disadvantages. On paper, this sounds cool...and works in other games; Super Puzzle Fighter comes to mind. However, it just doesn't work in Puzzle Bobble. There are certain characters that are just better than others, creating a tier list that isn't necessary in a game like Puzzle Bobble. The only cool thing about it is that players that suck can pick them against players of higher skill...a reverse handicap mode of sorts...of course this is only fun when both players agree on their choices, and it has no place on Xbox Live.

Now if you're up on your ESRB listings, you might be wondering why I even bothered writing this up. "Ultra Bust a Move" is listed as a downloadable Xbox release...the problem with this is that it could be an Xbox Original...although that wouldn't require a new ESRB listing...but I for one don't really trust the ESRB's listings enough to put a lot of faith in this being an honest to goodness XBLA release. Also, part of the charm of Puzzle Bobble is it's Neo Geo style character sprites...Ultra Bust a Move is full 3D and ugly as sin...I'm sometimes accused of wearing my nostalgia goggles too often, but most gamers would agree that Puzzle Bobble is a game that should stay sprite based.

UPDATE: So a newish version of Puzzle Bobble is on XBLA now. It's solid...but not as good as Puzzle Bobble 2.

-AfroRyan
Besides, Neo Geo sprites are gorgeous!

GTN2BOXBLA: Puyo Pop

2009-06-14T21:13:00.004-05:00

Puyo Pop is in my personal opinion the BEST competitive puzzler ever. After all, it was designed to be a competitive game from the beginning. Puyo Pop is one of the rare puzzlers where the standard "last as long as you can before you finally mess up and die" mode ISN'T the main mode, instead opting for a one vs one mode against the computer, so that tells you something.

Imagine...Xbox Live Puyo Pop multiplayer...I'm practically sweating just thinking about it. The adrenaline rush accompanied by intense battles would only be intensified (for me at least) while playing complete strangers. The only thing it has going against it is the potential for lag...but in these days of broadband hopefully that wouldn't be a problem.

Potential Achievements:
OWNED: Destroy your opponent by dropping enough trash puyos that they can't make a move
Turnaround: Make a nice comeback
That Wasn't Too Bad: Beat the game
THIS GAME CHEATS: Beat the game on hard mode
Pop: Win 10 ranked matches
Carbuncle Would be Proud: Win 100 ranked matches
Diversity: Unlock all characters
Child's Play: Get a 2X combo
No Problemo: Get a 4X combo
WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN: Get an 8X Combo
Seriously High: Get a High Score in Endless mode
All Clear: Get an all clear after having more than half the screen full of puyo

Puyo Pop is just so perfectly suited for an XBLA release, I have trouble imagining why it hasn't happened already...except that Puyo Pop Fever is available as an Xbox Original title on the Japanese Xbox Marketplace. *sigh*

-AfroRyan
DRMBM and KA are just posers...cool cool posers.

GTN2BOXBLA: Phantasy Star Online

2009-06-14T20:36:00.004-05:00

Phantasy Star Online NEEDS to be on XBLA. A few things would need to be cut in order to make it cost effective, namely, no dedicated servers. Still, a modified version of the splitscreen would suffice, allowing players to act as their own server instead of relying on an outside source.. PSO to me is the perfect modern day reinvention of games like Gauntlet. A 4 player extravaganza where you kill tons of monsters and level up. Obviously it's a bit more RPG than Gauntlet, what with all the collecting rare loot, different weapons, etc. but it still fits the basic Gauntlet formula pretty closely...it certainly plays more like Gauntlet than it does the original Phantasy Star or modern MMO.

I'd expect all the content from Episode 2 and Blue Burst/Episode 4 to be available, either initially or as DLC, whatever. Maybe even Episode 3...but that's really so altogether different it would be better as a separate release altogether.

PSO is one of my personal favorite Dreamcast games, and I think everyone should experience its greatness. PSU just doesn't live up to PSO (even though it isn't terrible by any stretch of the imagination).

Potential Achievements:
Shiny: Acquire a rare weapon
Gotchatoma: Level up a Mag to 50
Halfway There: Level up a Character to 100
Too Much Time on my Hands: Level up a Character to 200
I AM ULTIMATE: Beat the game on Ultra Mode
No Friends: Beat every boss by yourself
Completionist: Complete all side missions
HUgs: Play in a party made up of all HUs
Little RAscals: Play in a party made up of all RAs
This is FOn: Play in a party made up of all FOs
Kill All HUmans: Play in a party made up of all Androids
Multi-Cultural: Play in a party made up of one HU, one RA, one FO, and an Android

On a game like PSO, you're either limited by incredibly time consuming/hard achievements, or nothing but run of the mill progression achievements. To compensate, I figured going 50/50 with easy achievements and hard achievements would be a big intensive to most people.

-AfroRyan
I like playing a HUcast, Red and White like a Dreamcast.

Blast From the Past SSBB

2009-06-14T19:00:00.002-05:00

Part 1, circa May 10th, 2006
SSBB
Dude...when I saw the new Super Smash Bros. trailer, I went from 0 to Geek in .03 seconds...like seriously, thick framed glasses, a pocket protector, the works, all magically materializing on my person as I think of the wonderful possibilities this game could potentially hold. As soon as I heard the codec beep, I seriously crapped myself, and when he popped out from under the box, I think Snake turned me gay.

Think of the possibilities! Third party characters in SSB!? Assuming more are added, here, in no particular order, are my favorite picks:

Sonic (Sega)
Knuckles (Sega)
Tails (Sega)
Robotnik (Sega)
Vectorman (Sega)
Megaman (Capcom)
Viewtiful Joe (Capcom)
One or both of the Buster Bros. (Capcom)
King Arthur (Capcom)
Alucard (Konami)
Cyborg Ninja (Konami)
Bomberman (Hudson)
Bonk (Hudson)
Pacman (Namco)
The Prince (Namco)
Others (Anyone)

Any Sonic character is a MUST if anybody from Sega makes it. If Capcom's in, Megaman would HAVE to be there, but Viewtiful Joe (since it pretty much ripped off SSB anyways) would fit perfect too. Since Konami's on board, I suspect at least one or two more characters will make the cut, and Alucard and the Cyborg Ninja have the swordplay. Since Hudson's on board with the virtual console, and they've collaborated on things in the past (Mario Party, Wario Blast [a Bomberman/Wario crossover, btw]), Bomberman would be a real safe bet. As for Bonk...A guy can dream, can't he? Also, who can forget Namco? After all, Pacman has already appeared alongside Mario and Company in Mario Kart: Arcade GP. However, the Prince (from Katamari fame) is just wishful thinking...think about it...the Prince vs. Olimar (from Pikmin)...clash of the titans!

And of course, let's not forget the new Nintendo characters announced: Pit, Wario, and Metaknight pretty much rocked my socks off...Samus...well, she (the character) has already been in it, but it's still cool. One thing I do find humorous though, is that Kirby looks exactly the freaking same during the "transformation" sequence in the beginning.

-AfroRyan
I guess Ryu or Ken (or Ryu AND Ken) could work too...

UPDATE:
Phoneix Wright 2...awesome!

Part 2 Circa January 17th, 2008

So, on day one of the original SSBB trailer revealing Snake, I posted a list of my personal favorite choices for additional 3rd party characters in Brawl. They weren't predictions, just wishful thinking. Well, many things have come to pass in between now and then, the biggest of which was the reveal of Sonic as a playable character. I would have never predicted the Assist Trophies announcements, so I never would have thought that my character list might be wholly represented via playable characters/assist trophies. Cyborg Ninja was announced as an assist trophy a while back, so scratch him off the list. Still, I must say that my personal favorite coincidence was that I jokingly referred to a fight between Olimar and the Prince (from Katamari) turned out half-true. I would have never guessed Olimar, since I had determined (using fanboy logic) that Olimar had 0% chance of being in Smash Bros given his tiny size (at least 3 CM, at most 3 IN). Now, I'm being serious when I say this: if Prince is announced as a bonus "WTF" 3rd party character, I will probably just explode due to the excess amount of awesome that would accumulate within my body.

Here's my original dream list circa 5/10/06:

Sonic (Sega) - OMG SONIC CONFIRMED FOR BRAWL!!!111!!11!!
Knuckles (Sega) - Assist Trophy?
Tails (Sega) - Assist Trophy?
Robotnik (Sega) - Boss?
Vectorman (Sega) - NO
Megaman (Capcom) - NO *cries*
Viewtiful Joe (Capcom) - NO
One or both of the Buster Bros. (Capcom) - NO
King Arthur (Capcom) - NO
Alucard (Konami) - NO
Cyborg Ninja (Konami) - Confirmed as Assist Trophy
Bomberman (Hudson) - NO
Bonk (Hudson) - NO
Pacman (Namco) - NO
The Prince (Namco) - NO
Others (Anyone) - NO

And just to brag one more time, I also mentioned Olimar, who was confirmed.

I will update this list after the release of Brawl. I predict that the rest of the Sonic clan will probably be assist trophies, while Robotnik will most likely be a boss in SSE. As far as Vectorman goes, again, assist trophies make anything possible, and I wouldn't exactly be surprised to see more non-Sonic characters represented. Other companies though are a HUGE grey area. I'm personally doubtful of any additional MAJOR 3rd party character. My reason for believing so boils down to simple logic: Why would Nintendo not announce someone as huge as Megaman when they KNOW it would be sell more copies of Brawl? My pessimistic view of Nintendo when it comes to marketing doesn't prove anything, it's just a simple hunch. Lord knows, I would be PUMPED if Megaman was kept secret. It would prove to me that Nintendo still has some genuine love for their fans. Still, that's just a [warp] pipe dream.

EDIT: My predicted WTF character (note: only WTF to non-Japanese territories): DeMille, from Alpah Dreams' AMAZING original Mario RPG style GBA RPG, "Tomato Adventure." He would be awesome, and I for one would nerdgasm...one of probably very few Americans.

EDIT2: Had a sudden realization that Sketch Turner (Comix Zone) would make an amazing guest character. POWER SLAM *RIIIIIP*!!!!!!!! No chance really, but it would be crazy awesome.

EDIT3: So...everything leaked a few days ago (today is 01/31/08)...so yeah, I'm disappointed. I shouldn't be. If Nintendo wasn't so worried about making money (not a negative thing mind you), this exact same roster could have been awesome! All they would have had to do was make all the unlockable veterans (Captain Falcon, Ness, Marth, etc.) included in the starting roster, and make all the new original starting roster (Olimar, King Dedede, etc.) unlockable. That's not too hard to imagine. You know everyone would have freaked out when they saw Challenger Approaching: OLIMAR flash across their screens. Also, I know this would be impossible to pull off, but what if they had kept the 3rd party characters absolutely secret? It's funny; I would have fully accepted the roster, regardless of anything negative, had Sonic been the final unlockable (and it was a surprise). However, that's not how it turned out. Everyone's (including myself) freaking out because the final roster doesn't really impress. But that's the thing, the unlockables simply aren't as cool as the starters (I'm counting Snake and Sonic as starters, even though they are technically unlockable). I mean, the only 2 original unlockable characters we're getting are R.O.B. and Lucario. Everyone else is just a clone (although I was PUMPED when I saw that Toon Link replaced Young Link as a clone), or someone we were expecting (Luigi, C. Falcon, Jigglypuff, Ness)...Oh, and regardless of how I look at it, it really is unforgivable that there are three, THREE Fox clones...SERIOUSLY. I like Fox, and I know he's a go to character for tourneys, but seriously...three nearly identical characters. Ridiculous.

-AfroRyan
March 9th better be the REAL release date, or I'm killing myself.

Vidya Reviews: Meteos

2009-06-14T18:31:00.003-05:00

Circa July 5th, 2005

Meteos
Meteos, brainchild of Kirby/SSB creator Masahiro Sakurai, is quite the unique puzzle game. For the Nintendo DS, Meteos doesn't require the touch screen. However, using it makes things a lot faster, and as my review is about to say; this game is all about speed.

Instead of Lumines' trance like gameplay, Meteos throws the player into a hyper fight for survival. I'm sure I could make some joke about one game being like one drug and the other being like...some other drug, but I won't. Meteos' concept involves the player lining up 3 or more blocks of the same color vertically or horizontally to blast them off into space (the top screen). The player can only move the blocks up and down, so it's kinda like the opposite of tetris attack (where you can only move the blocks from side to side). Oh, and I forgot to mention, the player is constantly pounded with a barrage of meteos falling out of the sky. It is vital to your survival that you stay on your toes, and always be alert.

The graphics are vibrant for a puzzle game, with all sorts of cool effects and colors. The sound effects and music are pretty cool too, but sound doesn't play any real role the way Lumines' does, but it kinda tricks you into thinking it does. Like Lumines, the game has multiple skins (planets) that all have unique music and sound effects. On top of this, they also have different gravity...this may sound strange, but in a puzzle game that involves blasting the puzzle pieces off the top of the screen, it feels natural. There are all sorts of gametypes (and in this way, Meteos reflects Super Smash Bros. Melee in style/presentation), but they all basically have you doing the same thing, you just have different goals (1000 meteos ware, 2 minute war, etc.).

Basically, Meteos is the polar opposite in feel and presentation to Lumines, just not in quality. Both games are superb puzzlers, each with their own intricacies that just scream "PLAY ME!!! I HATE MY BROTHER!!! DON'T PLAY HIM!!!" So, as you can imagine, things can get a little complicated. I give Meteos another solid 9/10.

-AfroRyan
METEOS, GO TO YOUR ROOM!!! And Lumines, I can't believe you told your brother that his music sucks! Need I remind you of "Morning Beats?"

Vidya Reviews: Lumines

2009-06-14T18:21:00.002-05:00

Circa June 30th, 2005

Lumines
Ok, if you haven't slit your wrists in anticipation, here's my review for Lumines, the ONLY game worth buying a PSP for. From the mastermind Tetsuya Mizuguchi, Lumines is an amazing puzzle game involving the matching together of two colors into squares or rectangles. Blocks of four drop from the top, and when you make a combo, it's cleared out when a tempo line crosses it. There's also special blocks that will clear out any blocks of the same color touching it. There's some pretty cool music pumping straight into your eardrums that is so awesome, it makes me want to throw up sometimes. The music changes as you play , and depending on how big your combo is, different sounds play (a four or more combo usually results in an awesome background noise). One of the cooler things about the game is that not only is the music unique per skin, but all of the accompanying sound effects are unique as well. There are a few modes: Challenge, Single Skin, Puzzle, Time Attack, and Vs CPU. Challenge mode consists of the player progressing through different skins (songs), unlocking skins for use in Single Skin mode. Typically a new skin is unlocked every five "levels," and ends at level 100 (well, doesn't END, but that's the last skin, and it starts over from there). I can't tell you how many times I played this game in 6-10 hour sprees, not even aware of what's going on around me. It's puzzle gaming bliss at it's finest. It's like you're in a trance, and it only gets better. There's only a couple of songs I don't like (I'm sure it's simply a preference thing), so don't expect EVERY song to be pure gold.

Another cool thing I enjoyed about Lumines is that you can actually tell when you're getting better. You start seeing combos you didn't see the first few times you played it, and where you may only get to level 30 or so for your first few times playing it, you'll find yourself getting farther and farther in subsequent play throughs. I rarely "die" before level 110 anymore, which is funny, because I used to think level 40 was nearly impossible.

Single Skin mode is what it sounds like, you just pick one song to play. So once you've played through level 100, you can just play that special song anytime you want, which is convenient. Also, there's a few skins you unlock just for playing the game a long time (one for 10 hours, and another for 20), so you'll HAVE to play those in Single Skin mode if you want to hear them.

Puzzle mode is kind of confusing to explain. Basically, you make these shapes that it tells you to make, but since there's only two colors, it can be very challenging. The shapes also have to be enclosed by the opposite color, so that can be pretty confusing. Basically, it should only keep you busy for a few minutes (not because it isn't cool, but because it's not that hard).

Time Attack is what you'd expect it to be. You simply play for a certain amount of time, and score as many points as possible. You can unlock new characters (purely a cosmetic change, nothing special about them) by accomplishing certain tasks.

Vs CPU is exactly that; you just play against the CPU. I have a love/hate relationship with the Vs mode, because it can be very one-sided. For whatever reason, both players get randomized blocks, so if one character starts off with an autocombo (a block with only one color), they've already got the lead. You see, the way you play Vs mode involves the players trying to outdo the other in combos, and if one gets a bigger combo than the other, it knocks his playing field over one block's length. Basically, you're screwed if your opponent happens to get some crazy set of blocks for their starters. You can unlock both skins and characters in Vs CPU mode.

There's also a normal Vs mode you can play over the WLAN, but I haven't played it with anyone (but the concept is the same as Vs CPU). I'd expect it to be pretty fun. I've also noticed a pretty cool stat tracker in the options for Wins/Losses stuff for Vs mode.

Basically, if you bought a PSP, but didn't buy Lumines, I hate you and you should kill yourself. Ignorance is no excuse. This game deserves your money WAY more than any gay game on PSP, so if you have to, trade in that stupid Ape Escape or Metal Gear Ac!d, it's worth it. A very solid 9/10.

Next up, Meteos for DS. From the makers of Lumines!

-AfroRyan
Q Entertainment can have my baby

Vidya Reviews: Virtua Fighter 4 Evolution

2009-06-14T18:16:00.001-05:00

This Episode of Vidya Reviews Brought to you in part by: My RvB account circa June 29, 2005

Virtua Fighter 4: Evolution

Arguably (VERY arguably) the best 3D fighter in existence, Virtua Fighter 4: Evolution (VF4:E, for short) is so deep, it makes the Marianas trench seem somewhat less deep. Unlike certain other 3D brawlers, VF4:E's characters all play totally different, having completely different timing, combos, counters, etc. VF4:E is no button masher.

VF4:E's character customization, though simple, allows you to change your character in so many ways, that the chances of you finding another player with the exact same appearance are VERY slim. For example, I play a Kage (Only I named him Cage), the typical ninja character with the typical ninja appearance...except I gave him army colors, night vision goggles, an awesome haircut, some katanas, some ninja stars, and sometimes a bunny of shame. I find it somewhat humorous to see how many other fighters are totally ripping off this feature, and they STILL aren't as good.

VF4:E's arcade mode is cool, sure, but the quest mode is WHERE IT'S AT! You fight at different arcades around the map, and you fight against AI's based on the best VF4 players ever. It's really fun to take on AI, even if they eventually kick your arse every 9/10 fights. Again, I find it funny how many 3D fighters are starting to copy this mode (not quest, but AI based on real people).

V4F:E's chock full of unlockables, not that it matters much, as the game is so fun, you would continue playing it regardless. There's Levels to be unlocked, costumes, and a lone secret character that any Virtua Fighter fan would already know (hint: it's Dural). Mix this all in with a special edition version of Virtua Fighter 1, and you've got plenty to keep the hardcore game inside happy.

It is very hard to find any fault within VF4:E. The graphics are superb, the music is fitting (if somewhat annoying), and load times virtually (HA) non-existent. The only draw back I can find is that there is no way a n00b 10th kyu fighter is going to win against some 9th Dan, and I mean NO WAY. Personally, I find that a good quality, but I can see where that could be a turn off to a newcomer expecting to climb the ladder quickly. However, a fight between to seasoned fighters can be very rewarding. It's like a battle against the very Gods themselves! Just make sure you have someone else playing about as good as you.

I would give VF4:EVO a 10/10, but then again, I'm shallow. But the $20 price tag is too good to ignore. It blows me away to think that some people out there like Tek...never mind, I'd rather not start a flame war. Other 3D fighters are special in their own way.

You can believe me when I say I could make this review an in depth research paper. I COULD write about each individual characters pros and cons, or each levels special attributes, but I won't. I'll leave that to the readers (of which, I know are VERY small, like literally 1 person).

Next up on the Review list, Lumines. A puzzle game so incredibly awesome, you may want to slit your wrists right now!

-AfroRyan
Picking up Meteos later today.

Vidya Reviews: Katamari Damacy

2009-06-14T18:13:00.004-05:00

THIS ISSUE OF VIDYA REVIEWS BROUGHT TO YOU BY MY RvB account Circa June 28th, 2005

Katamari Damacy. It's hard to put into words exactly how awesome this game is. How can one NOT get excited about an awesome game with a $20 price tag? THEY CAN'T, that's how! It was the best friggin' $20 I ever spent.

If you're "knot in the no," then listen up. Katamari Damacy is a game where you roll up things on a tiny ball (the katamari). Basically, you have a time limit to get it to a certain size, and if you get it big enough, the next level unlocks. "But why does one need to roll up things?" you may find yourself asking, well...let me tell you. Your father, the King of all Cosmos, went on a drunken dancing spree in space, and destroyed ALL the stars in the universe...and the moon...for some reason.

It's up to you...the Prince of all Cosmos to get those stars back, and what better material to make stars out of than useless junk laying around on Earth. Some of that useless junk includes: thumbtacks, gum, batteries, mice, pigeons, small children, crabs, the elderly, baseball teams, skyscrapers, islands, clouds, and many many more totally useless junk that nobody cares about; I know I don't!

Katamari plays like a dream, and is so simple to control, I kicked my dog right in the face. You control the entire game with only the analog sticks, which makes sense...cause, I mean, you're just rolling stuff up in a ball, how many "action" buttons do you need? Don't fret if you think that all you can do is slowly roll about though: by furiously alternating the thumbsticks back and forth, your prince will rocket the katamari just like that. Also, you can press the "L3" button to automatically turn around...and with the "R3" button, the prince will magically fly into the sky and get a handy overview of the level you're in.

Like I said before, you progress by rolling stuff into a ball, making it bigger and bigger...but it's so much deeper than that. By the last levels, you start out about the size of a dog, and slowly but surely work yourself all the way up to skyscrapers, mountains, islands, clouds, you name it.

Sure, the graphics might be a little...well, ugly isn't the right word, as the lego style cities perfectly match the crazy mood of the game, but if you can't play a game that looks like someone kind of just puked a rainbow of legos and other toys all over your backyard, then you may find yourself saying "Man, this is gay." But if you can stop and appreciate the colorful, whimsical graphics, then you'll have a gay old time.

Next...the soundtrack. Let me tell you, I haven't heard a better original soundtrack in a game since Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. The upbeat tunes, which span many different musical genres, are sure to put anyone in a good mood.

The game IS kinda short...but not without replay value. You can always try to get a bigger katamari, and there are all sorts of unlockables and secrets to be found. Unfortunately, the Versus seems like it was just an afterthought, and won't keep anyone interested for more than about 3 games, and the only reason anyone would want to play until 3 would be to listen to the awesome music.

OK, now for the score. Simply as a game, I would give Katamari an 8, but given it's low low price tag, I HAVE to bump it up 9, because, I mean...come on...$20!

There you have it. My review of Katamari Damacy. The sequel, We Love Katamari, is currently in development, and you can bet your lucky stars I'll be in line to pick it up, even if they end up charging full price for it. I know this review comes a little late (I mean, I haven't even PLAYED the game in months), but it leaves such a lasting impact, this review was a joy to write. Come on, what are you waiting for!? If you have a PS2, go pick up this gem immediately!

-AfroRyan
My, Earth really is full of things!

GTN2BOXBLA: Chu Chu Rocket

2009-06-14T17:21:00.005-05:00

Chu Chu Rocket is a great game; arguably the best puzzler on the Dreamcast (and GBA). It is perfectly suited for XBLA; Simple yet addictive gameplay, fun multiplayer, sweet and simple map editor, blablabla. The only thing it has against it is an obvious leaderboard function...but why not just total up the number of puzzles completed and that be your score? THERE. DONE. Of course, a multiplayer learderboard for the total mice banked would be pretty straightforward. Beyond that, the game just deserves some recognition...for crying out loud, it's pretty much the only good game (not counting PSO or Samba) that Sonic Team has made in the past 10 years.

Potential Achievements:
Easy as Pie: Clear all Normal Boards
Piece of Cake: Clear all Hard Boards
Hard as Granite: Clear all Special Boards
Hard as Diamond: Clear all Mania Boards
Land of the Rising Chu: Clear all Japanese Boards
We Call it 'Squeak Squeak Blastoff': Clear all Europe Boards
Rocket's Red Glare: Clear all USA Boards
I beat Chu: Come in 1st place in a ranked online match
The Pit: Kill a Kapu Kapu by having him drop down the hole left behind by the rocket
Eureka: Publish your own map
Candy From Strangers: Play a stranger's published map
Check This Out: Play a friend's published map

-AfroRyan
Squeak Squeak Missle

Personal

2009-06-14T16:26:00.013-05:00

Top 10 Comedies

Random Dream Diary

The Accursed Instrument: A Poem

Downdates

Some Updates

Youtube Update

Lil Update

I actually had a bad infection; that's why I stayed so sick for so long

I threw up while I was sick

And I stayed sick

I got sick

I end all my posts with -AfroRyan followed by a stupid remark

Lazy Post, but I promoted World of Goo so it's K

I started cleaning

Ugh

The day after Black Friday at Gamestop is just as bad as Black Friday

I hate black Friday...does that make me racist?

Thanksgiving is a time for giving thanks...and posting blogs

I get a twitter and the world is better for it

Punnery is so funnery

I make a short post from my PSP here

Either a depressing look into the aspirations of an unfulfilled nerd or an uplifting post predicting my future success...wonder which it will become

Keeping a schedule on the internet is a futile effort here

I was on HBO again here

I was in a Diet Coke and Mentos movie here

I make it on the front page of HBO again. That always makes me happy.

I talk about a trip to Nashville here. I also mention my RvB account again, which I barely updated afterwards lol.

I post a picture of a guy who took my picture here. I also post a prom picture.

I make a photo comic based on true life events here. I think it holds up well.

I promote my reviews at RvB here, of course, you can see them all here as well

An animated gif of 2D that I never finished

Despite being a sprite comic, I still think this Halo 2 strip is pretty funny/accurate

I barely talk about Gorillaz 2nd album, Halo 2, PSOBB, and my friend Dustyn here

I get caught writing in my blog here

I talk about school almost being over and accurately predict college

I talk a bit more about the programing contest here

I talk about trying to break into SIU to see Jon Heder here

I barely talk about Halo 2, school, and prom here

I barely talk about hating school here

I talk about Go Ape energy drink and a computer programming contest here

I talk about Firefox and making fun of a retarded kid for not knowing what an SNES was here

I talk about the Macoromedia/Adobe merger and Halo 2 here

I talk about my dad's hair and a texan here

I'm happy to make it on the front page of HBO and MSP here
-AfroRyan
Because I'm too lazy to maintain 2 separate blogs about vidya and myself.

Vidya Reviews

2009-06-14T16:25:00.010-05:00

Sonic R (Saturn/PC/Gamecube)

Bionic Commando Rearmed 2 (PSN/XBlA)

REDDER (Flash-Based Browser game)

Scott Pilgrim Vs The World (PSN/XBLA)

Tower of Heaven (Flash-Based Browser game)

The Company of Myself (Flash-Based Browser game)

Katamari Damacy (PS2)

Lumines (PSP)

Meteos (NDS)

Virtua Fighter 4: Evolution (PS2)

-AfroRyan
I decided I wouldn't do an 'internet speak' joke on this one.

Vidya Thoughts

2009-06-14T16:23:00.010-05:00

HG101's top vidya gaem musak: Part 1

Why Achievements are important...and why they suck

Awesome Vidya Music

Analyzing ilomilo

The Life and Times of one Mario, Super

My top 10 console games of all time

A copy and paste post of a couple of posts I made during my RvB days. Interesting seeing how it all turned out.

I MADE IT TO THE TOP OF SONIC 3 BEFORE YOU also I talk about the future of the site Circa June 2009

I talk about my personal take on the future of gaming here Circa May 2009

I talk about SUGC again and also talk about SHMUPs Circa April 2009

I freak out thinking about Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection here Circa November 2008

I talk just a bit more about MLG here. Also I was amazed by the CG camera work in War of the Worlds Circa July 2005

I barely talk about going to MLG here Circa June 2005

I talk about buying a PSP here. Circa March 2005

-AfroRyan
Y R U THENK UR SO SMERT THAT U CAN TALK ABOUT VIDEOGAEMS YOU CAN'T EVEN SPEEL IT RITE!

Games that NEED to be on XBLA or Games that NEED Achievements

2009-06-14T16:20:00.025-05:00

Actraiser

Castlevania (Special Series Article)

Cave Story

Chrono Trigger

Chu Chu Rocket

Chuck Rock 2

Columns

Cosmic Spacehead

Counter Strike

Day of the Tentacle

Decap Attack

Fantastic Dizzy

Fantasy Zone and Twinbee (Special Cute-em-up Article)

Fatal Rewind/The Killing Game Show

Final Fantasy (Special Series Article)

Gadget Twins

Gain Ground

Grandia 2

Grim Fandango

Guardian Heroes

Half Life

Halo Custom Edition

It's Mr. Pants

Legend Of Zelda (Special Series Article)

Marathon/Marathon Infinity

Metal Gear 1, 2, and Ghost Babel (Special Series Article)

Mother/Earthbound (Special Series Article)

Myst (Special Series Article)

Myth 1, 2, and Chimera (Special Series Article)

Panzer Dragoon (Special Series Article)

Phantasy Star Online

Pokemon Red/Blue (GTNA)

Puyo Pohttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifp

Puzzle Bobble

Septerra Core

Skies of Arcadia Legends

Sonic R

Space Channel 5 parts 1 and 2

Super Mario Bros (Special Series Article)

Super Smash Bros (Special Series Article)

System Shock 1 and 2

Toejam and Earl

The Typing of the Dead

Vapor Trail/Kuuga

Wiz and Liz

Zombies Ate My Neighbors

-AfroRyan
OMG U STUPD FANBOY Y NOT GAMES TAHT NED TO B ON PLAYSTATON!?

Update

2009-06-11T02:01:00.001-05:00

I'm thinking about restructuring the blog, not only in style but in content. Rest assured I'm not going to change my particular style of writing...in fact...I may add more ellipses than ever before...but be that as it may I'm thinking that I want to take the blog in a more 'professional' direction. Basically, I just want to see if I can write on a level that is entertaining to my target audience a.k.a. sarcastic videogame geeks who think they know everything about games a.k.a you a.k.a. me. I don't care if my articles come across as rambling, incoherent, or incomprehensible to people who don't know Mario from Sonic. I don't even care to pander to people who think they know everything about the industry but then feel betrayed when Final Fantasy is announced as a non exclusive. In fact, let me just say that if you have ever attributed the Crash franchise to Sony, Bomberman to Nintendo, or Pac Man to Atari, you don't belong here. Get out of here...go on...scoot. Come back when you're oldered.

So, starting next Monday I'm going to try to do a daily post again...only this time it won't be about me (probably), it will be solely dedicated to videogames. I'm going to continue updating my "Games That NEED to be on XBLA" articles, expanding on them even further by adding a genuine list of potential achievements per game, just to put emphasis on how much they NEED to be there. I'll start doing some reviews on games that I'm playing (I'll move over my older ones from RvB for grins and giggles), and don't think that necessarily means I won't randomly review old games from the 80's. I'll update with my thoughts on news I find relevant in the industry, or simply tickles my fancy. I might update on some of my personal game ideas/scenarios I'm working on, but that probably won't happen until I fully grasp the XNA language. I may even start running contests for my favorite XBLA games for, what else, XBLA games...or maybe M$ points, whatever.

I'd get started on this big turn around sooner, but I'm pretty danged busy this weekend...and hopefully I'll actually start next week (I haven't got my work schedule yet). If things continue like they have, I won't have any work next week so I think we'll be okay. I'm considering this as my next big 'project.' Let's hope something comes out of it.

Alright, 180 time. I TOTALLY beat everyone at Sonic 3...you may say that "I have no life," or that "hardly anyone was playing when it came out at around 3 a.m. central time," to which I say SHUT UP I WON! For some inexplicable reason, I dropped down to 9th place on the leaderboard, but I've got proof that I was the first:

I also got all 12 achievements before anyone else, so SUCK IT!

Also, yeah, I used the bird trick, wanna fight about it?

Plus I got all the achievements in Gunstar Heroes and Comix Zone, and all but 1 in Shinobi. I only have one in Phantasy Star II, but it's a pretty long game so give me a while. Screw Altered Beast though...'cept it's rocking soundtrack.

-AfroRyan
Rise From Your Grave!

The Future of Gaming

2009-05-20T16:38:00.001-05:00

I've been thinking a lot about videogames recently (big surprise), specifically about the future of the industry. Recently, Mr. Steven Spielberg revealed that he thought that the next step in the industry's evolution is Virtual Reality machines. No offense to Mr. Spielberg, Boom Blox was fun, but take it from a hardcore gamer: that is NOT the future of the industry. Aside from all the sci-fi mumbo jumbo involved with a truly Virtual Reality experience, I just don't see the industry shifting that dramatically. I'm not saying that there won't be VR, and I'm not saying there won't be games for VR...what I am saying is that VR would be so wholly different from videogames as we currently know them that I doubt conventional games would be completely replaced. If anything, VR isn't where the videogame industry is headed; it's where the whole entertainment industry is headed. There would be no need for TVs anymore; just go to your VR room, or put on your VR headset and you could get a TV as big as a building. That pretty much ruins the movie theater/television industries. That said, I doubt VR will ever become a true reality; I don't think the government would allow it. VR would virtually destroy the economy, making televisions, movie theaters, and individual gaming consoles obsolete.

BTW, all puns were intended. Sorry.

The way I see it, the future of gaming involves one of my favorite things; achievements. You see, the future of gaming to me is actually driven by its past. People still love playing their favorite older games as much as they ever did. Looking back on it, the argument for "who has the best graphics" never really mattered much anyways. Just because a game like say...Terminator Salvation looks better than Super Mario Bros doesn't mean people will stop playing Mario. It truly is all about the gameplay. It's always been about the gameplay when you look back on it. The reason I say all this is to emphasize people's desire to play good games; past, present, and future. How could the industry abandon that whole era of games? To put it in business terms; how could the industry abandon all that money. Microsoft has the answer, and I don't think they even realize it yet.

The advent of achievements and leaderboards hardly seems relevant to the future of the industry...but I think we'll see a shift in the industry within the next 10 years that will seem natural to most gamers, but I doubt "normal" folks will see it that way. As a way to capitalize on older games, the industry will simply port their entire backlog of games, adding only the most basic of upgrades (HD text, achievements, and leaderboards) onto a downloadable service. Now, in a perfect world, it would be a single service. An amalgamation of Microsoft's Xbox Live coupled with the Wii's Virtual Console. I'll be the first to admit that I wouldn't buy game one on the virtual console unless it had some sort of upgrade. So far, the only game on the Virtual Console that has had any upgrade at all is Pokemon Snap (which I bought). Now, I'm sure I'm not the only gamer out there that has this mindset.

Here's the long and short of it; I, and thousands of gamers like myself, are willing to rebuy EVERY GOOD GAME EVER if it simply added achievements and leaderboards. The cost of rereleasing old games with achievements, leaderboards, and online play onto a downloadable service is minimal. Charge approximately $5 to $25 per game and everyone would be happy. A $5 game would be a simple rerelease; simple single player games like Sonic and Zelda that only need to add achievements and leaderboards. The next tier would be $10 games; games as simple as Sonic or Zelda, with the primary difference being multiplayer (like Toejam and Earl for example). The added cost is to compensate the extra work involved making it online. This tier could also include single player games that exceed 50 MB to cover bandwidth costs (N64/arcade games). The next tier for $15 would be for single player games that exceed reasonable bandwidth (games like Final Fantasy 7). The approximate size limit would include anything exceeding 200 MB. This could also reasonably include games like Mario Kart 64 or Perfect Dark; ones that don't exceed 50MB but would involve some coding for multiplayer. And then the ultimate tier, the $20 tier. This includes the PS2/Xbox/Gamecube tier. The cost covers the extreme bandwidth for these games (exceeding 1GB). One would assume that multiplayer games would cost more, but most games in that era were already online, so there wouldn't really be any need for additional coding. I guess a few games could add online multiplayer (games like Smash Brothers Melee), but anything more than $20 is a hard sell to most gamers.

Of course, this value scale is only relevant to today's standards. Inflation could change things, but so could encryption techniques, making the whole "added cost due to increased bandwidth" argument more or less a moot point (more moot than it already is).

The problem with my view of the perfect future is pretty obvious; I doubt Mircosoft, Nintendo, and Sony would collaborate on something like this, no matter how universally appealing the concept is. Lord knows gamers love to show off to their mutual gamer friends. I know I want my gamer friends to know that I've beaten every Zelda game, 100%, without dying, under 20 hours, blablabla, regardless of the console they own.

The reason I think that at least some form of this future is reasonable is based on my assumption that "gamers for life," i.e. nostalgic gamers, are willing to pay money for games they have already played just so they can feel COMPLETELY accomplished with said games. I know I already feel accomplished having all the Sonic 1 and 2 achievements.

If we had a universal achievement system in place, I think the whole industry would be better for it. I'm not predicting a one console future, not even a one online service future...I just see this whole "achievements" thing as a catalyst for the industry...even if the industry doesn't realize it yet.

-AfroRyan
Everything old is new again.

Back.

2009-04-21T18:58:00.001-05:00

Pretty abrupt time to stop posting huh? School got busy, I got sick, games came out, etc. I felt my time was better spent on those things than updating daily. Whatever, I'll try to get back into the swing of things.

First, I'd just like to update my list. I've:
Got my room cleaned!
Got my car cleaned!
Upgraded my computer!
Continued working on game concepts!
Got hair cut! (Camera broke lol so no pictures durp)
Got Tyler's Xbox modIMEAN cleaned.

How about a new Games that NEED to be on XBLA?

Phantasy Star Online NEEDS to be on XBLA. A few things would need to be cut in order to make it cost effective (no dedicated servers, just a simple "invite friends" type of deal would suffice). PSO to me is the perfect modern day reinvention of games like Gauntlet. A 4 player extravaganza where you kill tons of monsters and level up. Obviously it's a bit more RPG than Gauntlet, what with all the collecting rare loot, different weapons, etc. but it still fits the basic Gauntlet formula pretty closely...it certainly plays more like Gauntlet than it does the original Phantasy Star or modern MMO.

The achievements would be pretty sweet, like "Get an ultra rare weapon," "Level up your MAG all the way," "MAX LVL," "Beat every boss," "Beat the final boss by yourself," "Complete all side missions," stuff like that. I'd expect all the content from Episode 2 and Blue Burst to be available, either initially or as DLC, whatever.

PSO is one of my personal favorite Dreamcast games, and I think everyone should experience its greatness. PSU just doesn't live up to PSO (even though it isn't terrible by any stretch of the imagination).

Changing subjects now:

Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection came out. It had original achievements, but they were mostly easy/terrible and it had an average of less than 1 achievement per game. That's almost unforgivable...except NOW!

As it turns out, I guess Sega decided that for those crazy people that didn't want to buy SUGC for just one game, that they'd release most of the popular ones as stand alone XBLA titles so they can save $25 or whatever. I certainly doubt it was a way to please the admittedly small amount of people who are like me and wanted the "ultimate" release of our favorite oldschool games with online play, leaderboards, and achievements/trophies." I know I'm gonna rebuy at least a few of the games, namely:
Phantasy Star 1-4
Shining Force 1 and 2
Comix Zone
Sonic 3
Sonic and Knuckles (and its extended lock on games if they're made available)
Gain Ground
Decap Attack
Shinobi
Shinobi 3
Space Harrier

That's it. So, assuming they're all $5 a piece, I'll be spending $70 minimum, $80 max for the ultimate editions of my favorite oldschool Sega games...WORTH IT!

It goes without saying that any future announcement of games like Toejame and Earl Gunstar Heroes, Revenge of Shinobi, or Shadow Dancer are instant buys for me.

Alright, a bit of news on the XBLA front; Square-Enix has revealed not 1, not 2, but 3 new XBLA/PSN titles, 2 of which are completely new IPs (Yosumin was originally on DS). They've already released Crystal Defenders, and the Final Fantasy 4 sequel that was originally only on cell phone was accidentally announced a couple months back. That's a lot of XBLA/PSN/Wiiware love! It's only a matter of time before they announce classics like FF1-6, Chrono Trigger, and Einhander for our favorite downloadable services. A speedrun leaderboard for Final Fantasy? An achievement/trophy that shows that I beat Ruby or Emerald Weapon in FF7? I think I have a boner.

Also, a ton...A TON of shmups of all sorts (Classic, Forgotten Worlds style, Bullet Hell, Cute-em-up, etc.) have been announced, surprisingly enough, EXCLUSIVELY for Xbox 360. Some are for XBLA, others are full retail releases. Seems like developer Cave at the very least knows there's a sufficiently more hardcore market on the Xbox than seen on Playstation or Wii. Some may read that last sentence as some sort of fanboy insult, but no. REAL hardcore gamers own every system regardless, for that ONE game that they HAVE to have and that no one who actually owns that system has ever heard of. However, one would have to be exceptionally hardcore to actually relish in the difficulty of certain shmups. This niche market doesn't necessarily exist only on the Xbox 360, but people within this niche almost undoubtedly already own a 360 for these types of games. When comparing the overall amount of games in this particular genre, no amount of fanboyism is going to make it any less obvious that the 360 had this market cornered early on with classic games like Galaga and Xevious with new classics like Geometry Wars. Sure, the PS3 has a couple, namely Everyday Shooter and Super Stardust HD...but every other XBLA release is a shmup. Don't believe me? Here:
EXLUSIVE SHMUP releases:
XBLA:
Aces of the Galaxy
Aegis Wing
Alien Hominid HD
Assault Heroes
Assault Heroes 2
Every Extend Extra Extreme
Galaga Legions
Geometry Wars
Geometry Wars 2
Mutant Storm Empire
Mutant Storm Reloaded
Omega Five
Shred Nebula
Undertow
Asteroids
Centipede/Millipede
Contra
Super Contra
Metal Slug 3
Robotron
Rush 'n Attack
Smash TV
Tempest
Time Pilot
Crystal Quest
Rez HD
Ikaruga
R-Type Dimensions
Trigger Heart Exelica
PSN:
Super Stardust HD
Everyday Shooter
Blast Factor
Burn Zombie Burn!
Cash Guns Chaos
Söldner-X: Himmelsstürmer

I know I'm missing a couple from the PSN...but only a couple. Of course non-exclusives are missing; 1942 Joint Strike, Heavy Weapon, etc.

I mean, it's pretty obvious that the hardcore shooter enthusiast would pick the 360 before they picked the PS3. So it really isn't a surprise to see the Xbox 360 pick up a few exclusives in this particular genre. The funny thing is that this isn't even something Microsoft set out to do...it just sort of happened that way. They aren't paying off shmup developers for exclusives (they're spending all that money on RPGs), it's simply a matter of knowing where your audience is at.

*phew*With all that out of the way, I'm just annoyed that some of these recently announce shmups, Cave developed or otherwise, probably won't see a release outside of Japan. I'm ecstatic that we're getting the Raiden Fighters trilogy over here, but I doubt we'll see fare like the Gothic Lolita obsessed Death Smiles in the States anytime soon. That is VERY disheartening.

-AfroRyan
What is a shmup? A miserable pile of bullets. But enough talk, HAVE AT YOU!

Almost Forgot

2008-12-07T23:45:00.000-06:00

But you'd forgive me right? I mean, I'm still sick after all.

-AfroRyan
*sigh*

STILL SICK

2008-12-06T19:14:00.000-06:00

I WANT TO BLOG BUT I FEEL BLECK!
-AfroRyan
BLECK!

Still Sick

2008-12-05T21:25:00.000-06:00

But alive.

-AfroRyan
Peaked at 105 today

Sick

2008-12-04T21:10:00.001-06:00

102 temp.
-AfroRyan
BLARGH!

-AfroRyan

2008-12-03T23:01:00.000-06:00

-AfroRyan

-AfroRyan

11th Hour

2008-12-02T23:02:00.001-06:00

lol.
-AfroRyan
World of Goo is awesome. GET IT!

Cleaning

2008-12-01T13:15:00.001-06:00

YAH WAH HOO!

-AfroRyan
Maybe tomorrow's post will be even lazier!

Ugh

2008-11-30T18:18:00.001-06:00

Ugh.
-AfroRyan
Ugh

Dark Saturday

2008-11-29T07:51:00.000-06:00

The day after Black Friday (which happens to be a Saturday) is, at least at GS, as bad as Black Friday itself. I have to work today too...same shift. Wonderful.

-AfroRyan
Just wants to blog.

African American Friday

2008-11-28T07:35:00.001-06:00

So I have to be at work in less than 30 minutes to work a 9 hour shift today (Black Friday). It's going to suck SO hard. I'm just dropping in.

Here's another couple games that NEED to be on XBLA:

Panzer Dragoon (series)
Space Channel 5 (series)

K, I'm out!

-AfroRyan
Seriously...DC better be ready to f'ing kiss my feet by the time this is over.

Thanks Giving

2008-11-27T11:50:00.000-06:00

Today is Thanksgiving. Time for food and food and more food.

Real quick, here's another game that NEEDS to be on XBLA. Guardian Heroes...the Sega Saturn version; screw the GBA one. Anyways, I'll go in depth with that later. Bye.

-AfroRyan
I'm thankful for life and all that comes with it...that covers pretty much everything right?

GTN2BOXBLA: Toejam and Earl

2008-11-26T19:34:00.003-06:00

Today's "Games that NEED to be on XBLA" is Toejam and Earl.

Toejam and Earl is pretty much the first true co-op game. Before TJ and E, games weren't so much co-op as they were "play the game at the same time with a friend." Toejam and Earl on the other hand offered gameplay that is both different and enhanced while played with a friend. The game practically begs to be online, with the added enhancement of not NEEDING to be splitscreen; forcing communication between players since they don't know where there partner necessarily is (assuming they split up). TJ and E would be PERFECT for XBLA.

Potential Achievements:
SO RANDOM: Collect all Ship Pieces on Random mode.
Fixated: Collect all Ship Pieces on Fixed mode.
Dirty Trick: Open a ??? present, and die. Bummer.
SLAP: Share the love (and health) and high-five your partner.
Beatbox: Play in the beatbox mode for a total of 5 minutes.
Level 0: Soak in the hot tub, drink some lemonade; it's all good in the hood.
Wake Up: WAAAAAAKE UUUUUUUP!!!!!!!
BOOGIE BOOGIE BOOGIE BOOGIE: Kill a Boogie Man.
Social: Talk to every alien on Funkotron.
Funklord: Level up to the Ultimate in Funky.
PRESENTS: Use every type of present at least once.
Funky Allies: Enlist the aid of the Carrot, Wizard, Opera Singer, and Santa.

-AfroRyan
Let's pretend Toejam and Earl 3 never happened...

GTN2BOXBLA: Cave Story

2008-11-25T16:18:00.001-06:00

On today's installment of "Games that NEED to be on XBLA," I'm going to talk about Cave Story. Cave Story is a relatively well known indie game that came out in 2004 and was translated from its native Japanese to English by the fantastic guys over at Aeon Genesis. It's a game in the same vein as Metroid, in that you progress through the game with a pretty good amount of freedom to do what you want while exploring the world (in this case, a big cave). Also, you can't shoot diagonally. There's cute little rabbit creatures called Mimigas that inhabit the cave system, and blablabla. The story is pretty deep for a game of this kind, and I don't want to ruin it for anybody.

Anyways, the game is fantastic and deserves to be played by everyone. Pixel, Cave Story's creator, released the game for free, which is awesome. It's been ported from its original PC incarnation to a number of different systems, including DS, PSP, Xbox, Mac, and many others. Pixel is pretty loose with the source code as long as he knows the people actually have a drive to port it. All that said, I'm in the camp that actually wants to GIVE Pixel money for making such an awesome game, which is just one of the reasons I think Cave Story NEEDS to be on XBLA.

A while back, some stupid company was going to release Cave Story on PSP. Nothing came of it though, even though the company said that nothing was wrong with the project all the way to the day the studio closed. Whatever, that's in the past and this is now. Cave Story will finally see a commercial release on the Wii by Nicalis. A part of Wii's own download service Wiiware, this release has redrawn graphics by Pixel himself, along with HD support and "enhanced" music. The music is great period, but I guess they wanted to redo it with "better" midi tools for whatever reason.

Well, all this is fine and good...expect for one thing; I and many other people I know are virtually out of room on our Wii's. Not a big deal, Cave Story isn't a big download, but still. Cave Story deserves something better than Wiiware; it deserves XBLA and PSN.

Think about it...Cave Story on XBLA...online speedrun leaderboards...achievements...man oh man, it would be sweet. We know there's a market for it; Megaman 9 has sold really well across the 3 consoles. It's not as if Xbox gamers would shrug it off as "old retro crap," or something. Heck, that's pretty much what XBLA is all about (Bionic Commando, Sonic, TMNT Arcade, Pacman, 1942, I could go on and on). All said, I'm going to buy Cave Story on whatever it's released on. Everything; Wii, 360, PS3, DS, PSP. Pixel DESERVES that much from me. Even if he didn't see a dime of it, he deserves to know that his game sold well; that it's a masterpiece.

And, just for fun...here's a list of pottential achievements:

Untouchable: Defeat Balrog without taking any damage - 5 G
Animal Lover: Return all Puppies to Jenka without taking damage - 10G
LVL UP: After acquiring 5 weapons, level them all up to level 3 - 5G
Trade Ya: Acquire the Machine Gun, Snake, and Spur in separate playthroughs - 10G
{<3}: Revive Curly Brace - 15G
"{}": Restore Curly Brace's memory - 15G
Completionist: Acquire every upgrade and item possible - 30G
BAD END: Get the bad ending - 5G
GOOD END: Get the good ending - 20G
REDEMPTION END: Get the redemption ending - 30G
Hell Raiser: Traverse the Sacred Grounds in under 4 minutes - 35G
THE POWER!: Defeat an enemy with a fully leveled Nemesis. - 10G

With the power of "post achievement completion text," all the descriptions could be changed. Other than changing it to past tense (Defeated Balrog, Returned all Puppies, etc.), the text for "THE POWER!" would simply read "Quack."

Alrighty. That's it for this post. See you tomorrow!

-AfroRyan
Still filled with nerd anxiety.

Dog in my lap

2008-11-24T17:11:00.000-06:00

I started a twitter account today...it appeals directly to my ocd nature.

Today's installment of "Games that NEED to be on XBLA" is none other than Gunstar Heroes. With the announcement of Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection, and the reveal that there's (apparently) no online play, it makes one wonder if Sega is planning on releasing the Genesis' best co-op games separately. Notably missing from the list were the likes of Gunstar Heroes, along with Toejam and Earl (which I'll save for another time). This leaves two possibilities...the aforementioned "planned separate release," or that the games are simply unlockable...regardless of which is true, neither possibility is disappointing. On one hand you have a stellar collection of games missing a few noteworthy gems in order to make those gems sparkle later down the road, and on the other you have that same stellar collection made stellar...er. I guess there's always the third possibility; they will never ever be released again...but that's too depressing to even consider.

Gunstar Heroes is a standout game for many reasons. First and foremost is that it is simply an awesome shmup action game. Secondly, it's arguably more fun with a partner (it's certainly not less fun), making it the perfect online co-op game. I already know of how awesome it is to play Gunstar Heroes online; Kaillera is awesome.

The added benefit of achievements and leaderboards only sweetens the already awesome package.

In other news, I have to work a full shift Wednesday, [Black] Friday, and Saturday. Wonderful. If I wanted to piss a lot of people off by quitting, now would be the time...hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

-AfroRyan
DC better be f'ing grateful

Another bed post...get it?

2008-11-23T22:53:00.000-06:00

Yo! Yesterday's post was so big that this is all I'm posting today. Busy as can be this week too, so short posts will prolly be the norm for a bit. Sorry.

-AfroRyan
Wanna headache? Do like me; walk into doors while trying to get into your bedroom!

Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection

2008-11-22T11:36:00.001-06:00

So, a while back Sega announced Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection for the Xbox 360 and PS3 (lol no Wii). Here's the list of games (not counting unlockables) appearing on the disc:

Alex Kidd in the Enchanted Castle
Alien Storm
Altered Beast
Beyond Oasis
Bonanza Bros.
Columns
Comix Zone
Decap Attack starring Chuck D. Head
Dr. Robotnik's MBM
Dynamite Headdy
Ecco the Dolphin
Ecco II: The Tides of Time
E-SWAT
Fatal Labyrinth
Flicky
Gain Ground
Golden Axe I
Golden Axe II
Golden Axe III
Kid Chameleon
Phantasy Star II
Phantasy Star III: Generations of Doom
Phantasy Star IV: The End of the Millennium
Ristar
Shining in the Darkness
Shining Force
Shining Force 2
Shinobi III: Return of the Ninja Master
Sonic 3D Blast
Sonic and Knuckles
Sonic Spinball
Sonic the Hedgehog
Sonic the Hedgehog 2
Sonic the Hedgehog 3
Streets of Rage
Streets of Rage 2
Streets of Rage 3
Super Thunder Blade
Vectorman
Vectorman 2

So, overall...I'd have to say that this is probably the BEST COLLECTION EVAR OMG!!1!11

But...there's something about this collection that scares me...I'm afraid the only achievements will be for the 5 games (totaling 1000 gamerpoints) already released on XBLA (Sonic 1, Sonic 2, Streets of Rage 2, Ecco the Dolphin, Golden Axe). This is EXACTLY what Namco did with their Namco Museum on 360; the xbla games counted as the 1000 points and all the actual straight-up ports got the shaft.

All is not lost however. If this WAS just a simple port job (and one would assume that it probably is...Backbone is handling it after all), it's not scheduled to release until after Christmas this year, so that means they're actually putting at least a little effort into the release. The press release also mentions " MASSIVE MULTIPLAYER OPTIONS. Play these classics together with a friend from the same console at home." Now, this would normally be disheartening (Xbox Live /PSN play would truly make this one of the BEST CONSOLE RELEASES OF ALL TIME), but it provides a little insight into this achievement problem. The 5 games I mentioned earlier have online play (well, except Sonic 1 or Ecco the Dolphin), so that tells me that this may indeed be an original release, actually removing functionality from the xbla releases. Of course, from a marketing standpoint I can see why they wouldn't mention the online functionality of just 3 games on a compilation with more than 40. Still, one has to hope that out of this disappointing tidbit might actually point to this release having a full 1000 points to earn across the 40+ games (I'm totally freaking out about the possibility of earning achievements in Phantasy Star 4).

Also, it's worth mentioning that the press release actually says "UNLOCKABLE CONTENT. Unlock arcade games and interviews with the original game developers as you earn Achievements on the Xbox 360® and Trophies on the PLAYSTATION®3." Now, it's obvious that this could be referring simply to the current XBLA achievements...but that would mean that unlocking the new ones would have to be retroactive. I've already earned nearly all the achievements from the 5 XBLA games, and although I admit it would be convenient to simply unlock every game before even playing the collection, I would MUCH rather replay them (for the umpteenth time) if that meant new achievements for the rest of the collection. I'm also encouraged by the mention of trophies, since adding them to PS3 releases isn't exactly the thing to do (yet). By the way Sega...if for some crazy reason the Achievements and Trophies differed, even in the slightest way, I would buy both versions since I'm a total tool.

One last thing...given the 5 already released XBLA games, it also saddens me that, chances are, there aren't any leaderboards per individual game. Think about that...a speedrun/highscore leaderboard for EVERY game on that list...it makes me tear up.

On that note, Sega better not be thinking about just forgetting about potential XBLA releases of games on this compilation...in particular Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine aka Puyo Pop...which leads me to my next GAMES THAT NEED TO BE ON XBLA!

Puyo Pop is in my personal opinion the BEST competitive puzzler ever. After all, it was designed to be a competitive game from the beginning. Puyo Pop is one of the rare puzzlers where the standard "last as long as you can before you finally mess up and die" mode ISN'T the main mode, so that tells you something.

Imagine...Xbox Live Puyo Pop multiplayer...I'm practically sweating just thinking about it. The adrenaline rush accompanied by intense battles would only be intensified (for me at least) while playing complete strangers.

Puyo Pop is just so perfectly suited for an XBLA release, I have trouble imagining why it hasn't happened already...except that Puyo Pop Fever is available as an Xbox Original title on the Japanese Xbox Marketplace.

On that note, Columns is another game I'd like...but not necessarily NEED to appear on XBLA. A leaderboard and achievements are the only things that excite me about that...the multiplayer in Columns isn't ideal puzzle gaming bliss.

And while we're on the subject of puzzle games needing to be on XBLA, Taito's Puzzle Bobble. I freaking love Puzzle Bobble/Bust-a-Move. If you don't know what game I'm talking about...Snood. Snood is the bastard freeware turned commercial ripoff of Puzzle Bobble...that for some stupid reason, is more recognizable among the American gaming crowd than the OG.

Puzzle Bobble is sweet for a number of reasons. Firstly, it's awesome multiplayer. The back and forth battles of Puzzle Bobble are so freaking intense I don't even know how to properly explain it. The way the board drops on you or your opponent depending on how well you're doing is just so crazy, you don't even know.

The single player experience is also a fun time. You've got a puzzle mode where you only get a certain number of shots before the board collapses, and a "choose your path" style battle mode where you fight different AI opponents. And of course there's the standard endless mode. A game worth having even if you didn't have any friends.

The only thing I hate about Puzzle Bobble is its myriad releases. Puzzle Bobble 2 is the pinical of the franchise, and any entry past that sucks for one reason or another. The major problem with future releases is the addition of multiple multiplayer characters, each with his or her (or its) own unique advantages and disadvantages. On paper, this sounds cool...and works in other games, Super Puzzle Fighter comes to mind. However, it just doesn't work in Puzzle Bobble. There are certain characters that are just better than others, creating a tier list that isn't necessary in a game like Puzzle Bobble. The only cool thing about it is that players that suck can pick them against players of higher skill...a reverse handicap mode of sorts...of course this is only fun when both players agree on their choices, and it has no place on Xbox Live.

Now if you're up on your ESRB listings, you might be wondering why I even bothered writing this up. "Ultra Bust a Move" is listed as a downloadable Xbox release...the problem with this is that it could be an Xbox Original...although that wouldn't require a new ESRB listing...but I for one don't really trust the ESRB's listings enough to put a lot of faith in this being an honest to goodness XBLA release. Also, part of the charm of Puzzle Bobble is it's Neo Geo style character sprites...Ultra Bust a Move is full 3D and ugly as sin...I'm sometimes accused of wearing my nostalgia goggles too often, but most gamers would agree that Puzzle Bobble is a game that should stay sprite based.

I'll save these for later, but while we're on the subject I'll just mention that Taito should release Bubble Bobble on XBLA too...and to a lesser extent Rainbow Islands. Good times were had with both titles.

Well, that certainly was a big writeup. Sorry about the final hour blog yesterday. I was pretty busy, but I figured I wouldn't break my promise of a daily blog on day one. Maybe someday I'll elaborate why I hate PSP so much, even though I own two of them (a 1000 and 2000 model). On that note, I'm outta here. See you tomorrow!

-AfroRyan
Full of nerd anxiety.

PSP Post

2008-11-21T22:23:00.000-06:00

I'm posting this from my psp in my bed. I had planned on doing another xbla post but I'll save it.

-AfroRyan
PSP Sucks

'sbeen a while

2007-03-01T14:51:00.000-06:00

Yeah, so I'm posting from John A. Logan right now...because I'm bored and I needed to upgrade my blogger account with my google account. Fun. Also, I've made it onto HBO a few more times. I'll post the links sometime, but you can just use their great search feature by searching "AfroRyan" and get every post. w00t. In other news, it's a bit depressing that I haven't updated for nearly half a year. I might not update again for another long while...*sigh*

Keeping a schedule on the internets is a futile effort.

-AfroRyan
Blazin' Challenge - Piece of Cake

HBO...again.

2006-07-17T15:23:00.000-05:00

Made it onto the front page of halo.bungie.org again...this time for simply noticing something before everyone else. YAY. Go here.
Or copy and paste:
http://halo.bungie.org/news.html?item=16200

-AfroRyan
Hawtness.

Movies ROCK!!!

2006-06-18T16:55:00.000-05:00

I was in one, you know...

HBO again!

2005-12-16T15:06:00.000-06:00

I made it on the front page o' HBO today, for the second time...but for a completely different reason...just lucky I guess. Here's the permalink.

-AfroRyan

Horray and Huzzah!

After quite the hiatus...

2005-11-21T08:25:00.000-06:00

I'm back to say...that it will probably be another long hiatus before I post again. Finals are coming up, the 360 is coming out, and I'm going in...sane. If you ever check my RvB account, you may have noticed that I've acquired quite a bit of videogames over the past few weeks. I've got a few more, and I'll update over there (I'll keep 'em separate, this one for personal stuff, that one for videogame related stuff). That said, since most of my life revolves around playing, reading about, studying, or thinking about videogames, don't expect too much unless I go on some awesome trip...which is why I'm making another post.

I went over to Nashville (Tennessee) over the past couple of weekends, the first for fun, the second for a concert. I've come to the conclusion that everyone over there is a racist. White folks, black folks, doesn't matter, ALL RACIST. First off, this all happened in the Opri Mills Mall (I may have mispelled that, and I honestly don't give a shite).

I had this "Anime Geek" come over and start talking to me; I guess he felt compelled to being that, I too, was in the anime section, no doubt looking for Inuyasha: Volume Awesome (I was actually looking for Batman: Animated Series Volume Three). With all the awkward social skills he could muster, he basically tried to ask me if black people resented the fact that I have an afro. He actually put it more like this "if you were...in...Jamaica...would the people there...umm...would they like ask you to not wear your hair like that?" After that grand statement, I realized that he must think that my hair was a perm, because you don't usually say "wear your hair" when you think it's natural (and it is) [That was a horrible sentence]. I casually told him it was natural, and that people from both sides, that is, white and black, do resent the fact that I have a huge afro, but are rarely so bold as to tell me directly. Then I bought the first volume of Pete and Pete and got the heck out of there.

Like I said before, I probably won't update unless something cool happens, so check out my Red Vs Blue account instead if you want a more up-to-date view into my life.

Until next time...

AfroRyan - AFRORyan

I'm back from vacation...

2005-08-30T21:01:00.000-05:00

and I've been back for forever. I've already been in college for like half a month. To sum it up quick, Florida was fun (as always), and I took a picture of some loser kid. I'm too lazy to write about the kid again, so here's what I had to say about him on my RvB account:

"I also have a picture of a gay kid that took my picture with his cell phone camera. I figured since he could take my picture without asking, I would take his."

What a fag huh?
When I get some time, I might tell some other funny stories about my vacation (along with some new...COMICS!!11!1!)

In other news, College is totally boring.

-AfroRyan
For no other reason, here's a picture of me in my prom getup:

So I made a comic...

2005-07-21T13:22:00.000-05:00

It's not "prettyfied" yet, but you'll get the joke. I was eating some Hardee's curly fries when I found a fry...well, just look at the comic to find out what I found next. Check the comic out here (You'll probably have to zoom in to read the text).

In other news, I'm gonna be on vacation for a the next week, so don't expect any posting then. I'm goin' to Florida, and if I have any interesting experiences, I'll post about 'em. BYE!

-AfroRyan
Fun in the Sun

I take that back...

2005-07-05T13:42:00.000-05:00

MLG ROCKED!!! And I'm not just saying that because they have a picture of me...here.
Some ammusing comments to say the least...speaking of which, my hair doesn't look RED does it? I've always thought it looked brown. WHATEVA, I was just kidding about the MLG thing though, sure it was a BR fest, but it was quite intense...although I WASN'T kidding about playing Lumines almost the entire time. Here's the pic in case you are too lazy to click the link...

Yippe for that. That's Jimmy on the left by the way. Also, I went and saw War of the Worlds. Long story short, a technical marvel, but the storytelling left a bit to be desired (not the aliens part, it was cool...the broken family part). Still, I'd watch it again just for the awesome camera work. Go see it if you have an eye for that kinda thing.

-AfroRyan
Back to Lumines...

REVIEWS!!!

2005-06-28T09:00:00.001-05:00

So, I've started a new thing on my Red Vs Blue account: reviewing awesome videogames. First one I did was Katamari Damacy, go take a look! If it doesn't work, then I guess you need a Rooster Teeth account, which if you don't have one, you're a loser. All is not lost however, you can automatically upgrade yourself to cool kid if you create a profile! BYE :D

-AfroRyan

Still at work...still.

MLG

2005-06-27T11:12:00.000-05:00

So me and some of my freinds (Nathan, Nate, and Jimmy) went to the MLG Tourney in St Louis last weekend. It was pretty cool, and Team 3D ended up pwning the final game. We would have liked to participate, but 200 bucks is a pretty expensive entry fee...so we basically just played Conker and watched movies and crap. Plus, we got free Red Bull, so that made everything worth it. We've got a few pictures, so I might post them when they become available. In totally unrelated news, I saw Batman Begins. It was a good movie, but not exactly a good comic book adaptation. They certainly got the mood of the comic just perfect though. Well, my birthday's comin' up, and that's cool. I was planning on picking up Meteos today, so I might update about it if I'm not to busy playing that.

-AfroRyan

What just happened...someone got killed by the battle rifle? Well, whatever, back to Lumines.

WIP

2005-06-17T00:40:00.000-05:00

So, I was diddling around with MSPaint, and painted up some frames for a gif that I put together. "Why do you use MSPaint?" some of you may ask, to which I answer "Because I'm poor." However, I kind of like the unrefined look it gives to a picture, and the main body of this picture was doodled in about 30 seconds (you know...SPEED doodling). Unfortunatly, my gif animator sucks, and the pixles around the eyes always copy to the next frame...I'll fix it sometime. The picture, if it isn't clear, is supposed to be of the "2D" character from Gorillaz...the one always depicted as the lead singer without any eyes. There is a subtle joke there, but I'm sure you'll get it eventually. Keep in mind...this picture is somewhat offensive (I'm actually kind of surprised that I even drew it), so don't look if you're easily offended. Of course, I guess you would kind of have to look if you were wanting to get to some of my previous blog entries...O well, tough luck.

I'll work on it some more later and show yous the updates. PEACE!

-AfroRyan
Kough...

Lights, ______, Action!

2005-06-15T14:28:00.000-05:00

So I got a good look at Logan's new camera the other day. It's totally hawt, and I can't wait for him to start filming stuff. For those not in the know, Logan's going with me to Destin, Florida this year, and he's gonna take his camera and try to film as many people as he can that ask me "How do you get your hair to do that???" It'll be fun...funderful even. On an unrelated note, I kind of updated my MSN space. It's totally gay, but heck, I couldn't let some idiot steal my AfroRyan domain, could I? Not that it matters, but you can check it out here.
I DID come up with a fancy name though, if I do say so myself. On another unrelated note, I'm still at work, still doin' nothin', and still gettin' paid. Not that I'm complaining or anything, but it can get a little boring over here. What better time than to update my blog, huh? Until next time, and by that, I mean next time I'm really bored at work. Oh, and I almost forgot, check out this hilarious comic strip!

-AfroRyan

I'm gonna go get a dinka.

P.S. You may notice some changes in this blogs apperance. I'm slowly learning how to change everything, so try to stay with me.

Gorillaz...

2005-06-10T15:39:00.000-05:00

Their new album Demon Days = teh hawtn3ss, so go get it now! Anyways, I got caught at work in the middle of writing my last entry, so I just published what I had and left it that way, and since I can't remember what I was writing about, It's gonna stay the way it is. Still playin' Halo 2. Also playing the Phantasy Star Online: Blue Burst beta...that's free...and sweet. And by the way, Dustyn, or Slacker8, who was fired by Taco Bell for real, now has a job at a really nice barbacue restaraunt called 17th Street. 'Tis a nice gig, and he's already making more there in a couple of weeks than he was at Taco Bell for more than a year. That's it for a while, cya!

-AfroRyan

Your logic is flawless.

I'm at work :D

2005-05-31T16:13:00.000-05:00

AND I GRADUATED!!! But enough about that, summer's here! Even though my sleep cycle hardly changes, since I still have to get up for work, at least I don't have any gay homework/tests to worry about. Now all I have to worry about is getting caught at work writing in my blog...it's quite the rush. I work with a tall asian and that's really fun. So I was thi

Almost Over

2005-05-16T09:47:00.000-05:00

School that is...just this week, and the monotony is finally over. Then it will be summer time, my job as a tech will resume at the school...and I'll still have to come to school, only I'll be paid, so that's good. I don't really know if I can keep this blog up, since there's only a couple of people I know that read it (HI LOGAN!!!), but whatever. On a completely different note, Prom was fun, I had a good time, and I hope my date did too. I graduate in 11 days, so that's cool I guess. I'm ready for it to be over. I still have a week left though...and that CISCO final is looking to be a killer. Nothing else though.

I just know this summer will be a blast! Then...off to college for even more chances for me to slack off and procrastinate. I'd write more...but I'll do it later.

Oh! I can't remember if I mentioned this before, but Dustyn (Slacker8 of the taco blog) apparently got permanently fired from "the Bell," so that's a shame. I wish him the best of luck in all future jobs.

-AfroRyan

Fighting the urge to kill the people in front of me.

UBER UPDATE PART 2!!!

2005-05-04T10:51:00.000-05:00

I just got all the questions we asked the Q and A guy from that contest. Note that a couple of the questions are serious, and won't really make sense since I can't post the problems. Also note that one of the questions is not ours, but is required for understanding a question we asked. Here's all the questions we managed to ask:

Problem 5 Question:
If John Smith is just a fairly average chemistry student, then why does he LOVE chemistry?

Answer:
Because loving chemistry is easy and comes naturally to all human beings.

General Question Question:
Can we re-submit answer to problems we previously missed?

Answer:
Yes you may.

General Question Question:
If the tea in Russia were blue, would we all fart flowers?

Answer:
Your hypothesis is false so your implication automatically evaluates to true.

General Question Question:
What are your feelings on the war in Iraq?

Answer:
There's a war...in Iraq.

Problem 4 Question:
How does one calculate the bounds of the function?

Answer:
Read the problem more carefully.

General Question Question:
If you hate homsar so much, why don't you kill him?

Answer:
Though shalt not bothereth the Oracle lest ye...you get the picture.

General Question Question:
What is for lunch?

Answer:
Usually there's sandwiches, chips, desserts, but more importantly, awards are afterward :)

General Question Question:
What places recieve awards? Just 1, 2, 3 or is everyone a winner?

Answer:
Yes.

General Question Question:
Is there an award for the most questions asked?

Answer:
You can give yourself an award.

Problem 5 Question:
Can we use a life-line? We are REALLY stumped!!!

Answer:
No.

General Question Question:
Why are we here?

Answer:
Where else did you have in mind?

General Question Question:
What, like are we some kinda cosmic coincidence or is there really a God who, like, has a plan for us and stuff? I don't know man, but it keeps me up at night.

Answer:
I always leave when the talk gets philosophical.

************NOT OUR QUESTION*************
General Question Question:
what r u wearing?

Answer:
gorilla suit.
**********************************************

General Question Question:
In refrence to the question about what you are wearing...are you the Bungie webmaster?

Answer:
It is not the case that I am the Bungie webmaster.

That's all the questions. A note on Problem 5: In the question, it stated that "John Smith is a fairly average chemistry student who loves chemistry!!! He wants to...blablablasoonsoforth," which we thought was funny. Keep in mind, we were still pretty hopped up on Go Ape at the time, and we TOTALLY didn't get last place, in fact, we were in the upper half!!! But besides that, we ended up asking a grand total of 13 questions. And in case you are wondering, we DID make ourselves an award for asking the most questions!!! And by the way, the oracle lied to us about them having desserts...none were to be had, just gay sandwiches, chips, and chocolate chip cookies, which are not a dessert, but rather a snack...

-AfroRyan

Too much time on my hands!

Uber Update!!!

2005-05-01T13:19:00.002-05:00

In the spirit of space-saving, I'm going to combine an older post with this one:

MY ADVENTURE

So me and some of my friends (one of them being Logan of the infamous To'N blog) were going to go see Jon Heder give a free lecture/q&a at SIU in Carbondale. Well, when we got there the line was huge, but we managed to cut thanks to a friend of mine. It didn't matter though, because they shut the doors about 50 people ahead of us because they were beyond capacity. I caught up with my church league basketball coach who also arrived too late to get in. Little did I know we were about to embark on a wonderful quest: to get in to see Jon Heder. We went ahead and looked for other entrances, with a friend (Brice) nearly getting in a couple of times. We met up with a couple of strangers who go to SIU, and apparently knew their way around the place. So I, Logan, Brice, Katrina, Spencer (Coach), and a Couple O' Strangers went looking for an underground entrance. We came upon a couple of manholes, both of which were sealed real good...but right about the time we all gave up any hopes of seeing Jon Heder, we found a manhole that we could actually open...it was under a bush. The strangers descended first, with Brice going next. Then Katrina, then Logan, and finally me. Spencer stayed behind, just in case the strangers were also murderers/homosexuals. We found ourselves following these strangers through a labyrinth of cramped tunnels and passageways. Me, being the tall, 6'6" guy with a huge 'fro that I am had to duck most of the way. All the while, the stranger we nicknamed "Hippie," for his long hair, was constantly making that shshshsh wawawawa noise from the Jason movies. I found some ancient remains of what appeared to be a school desk, and we even saw some janitors playing cards/getting high. We ignored them. So we eventually found our way to a room, a room with a door. One of the strangers, not Hippie, but the other so called "Weirdo" tried to open it...but it was locked. Instead of turning back and giving up, we continued, hoping against hope we would find another door. After about 20 minutes of walking, we found one. One of the strangers told us to stop and shut up...he heard a noise. Whilst we were waiting, Brice took a picture of me, Logan, and Katrina in the tunnel...it's pretty sweet, and I'll post it if I get the chance. So after a while of waiting, we continued on our way, finally coming across another door. This one, however, wasn't locked. Oh no, quite the opposite. We found that the door was, in fact, unlocked, so we opened it and went inside. We were all pretty excited, expecting to see Jon any moment now. We went up some stairs and discovered a window that, when peered through, revealed that we were not in the auditorium we needed to be in. By then it didn't matter though. We had had an adventure, and were very proud of ourselves. We said bye to the strangers, and Logan drove me back to Marion where we stopped at Sonic and said hey to Dustin, aka slacker8, who, by the way, very much needs to make a blog about his adventures at Taco Bell (right next door to Sonic). Logan drove me home, and I said bye to him, Brice, and Katrina. They were on their way back to Harrisburg, for it is their hometown. My flash drive is still broke.

-AfroRyan
I edited this in the SIU Finance classroom during a CISCO fieldtrip...

Here's the original comments:

Blogger Vietnam War Hero said...

Yeah, that's about right. Except that Hippie and Wierdo were from a snuff film. They just decided that they wanted to keep their lives when I took off my coat and they saw my hugemongous guns (by guns I mean arms) that I got from beating up guys from snuff films. Other than that, Ryan's telling the truth.

12:46 AM
Delete
Blogger Vietnam War Hero said...

And Brice is spelled with an "i".
-Logan

12:48 AM
Delete
Blogger Lynne said...

Please post some of your art work -- like your self portrait.

7:06 PM
Delete

I've got a PICTURE!!! A special PICTURE!!! A PICTURE I've mentioned before!!! It's the picture from UNDER SIU!!! Brice's cell phone sucks, by the way. I had to send it to my mom's phone, and from there to my email. I'm ducking in this picture; otherwise, my head would have hit the top of the tunnel...by a lot. I was slouched the entire time, and it was quite uncomfortable. Well, here it is! Hopefully, I'll have those note/questions from the contest in my next update!

Brice isn't in the shot, as he was the one taking the picture...that's Logan on the left, me in the middle (DUH), and Katrina on the right, and a steam pipe behind all of us...as if you couldn't have guessed all of that anyway...

-AfroRyan

Good thing I'm not a terrorist!

Lament...

2005-04-29T21:55:00.001-05:00

Well, I'm not in school anymore (thank the Lord), but I'm still bored out of my mind. I was going to play Halo 2 tonight...but none of my friends are on :( I went to go play campaign on legendary, but after around my 100th time dying (literally), I stopped playing. Good news is, only a couple more weeks of school! CAN'T WAIT!!! Prom's on the way too, which is fine and dandy. Too bad I can't dance, nor make conversation NOT involving videogames, nor keep myself from quoting some obscure cartoon/movie/situation without even thinking about it. Oh well, I'm still looking forward to it.

-AfroRyan
Sick and tired...literally

Bored out of my mind...

2005-04-29T10:14:00.000-05:00

I'm supposed to be doing CISCO homework right now...but I can't bring myself to do it. I'm sick of school, and I've given up on really accomplishing anything over the next two weeks. I really should, as my grades are slipping into the B range, and if I'm not careful, the C range...but I won't let that happen...I hope. I just can't bring myself to do anything involving schoolwork...I'm just so...sick of it I guess.

-AfroRyan

Sick of school and sick of...

I bet you're wondering...

2005-04-25T08:26:00.000-05:00

Why I haven't told my "Go Ape" story yet...well, it's because I've been too lazy to post it. But I have nothing better to do for the next 2 hours, so here goes...about a month ago, me and a couple of other guys from my school (who I will refer to as Bogle and Rob) went to this computer programming contest a ways away from our current possision of Marion, Illinois. So we're drive over there for a couple of hours, when we have to stop for gas. We stop at this gas station, and right away, there's something special about it...I couldn't put my finger on it. We ventured inside as my teacher (Mrs. Twenhaufle) filled up the vehicle. So I'm browsing the snacks when I see something strange...over at the soda fountain, there's a drink I haven't ever seen before. Being the conniseur of soda that I like to think I am, I stroll on over to the fountain, only to discover a ratty looking sticker with some ugly cartoon monkey, with the phrase "Go Ape Energy Drink" underneath it. It listed all the ingrediants, which I quickly compared to a nearby can of Red Bull. It seemed to check out as a valid energy drink, but just to be sure, I took a sample drink (by that, I mean I filled up half a cup, and downed it in a couple of seconds). "HOLY CRAP!" I exlaimed, "It tastes like warheads!!!" I yelled at Bogle and Rob to get over to the soda fountain to try this stuff. They were like "HOLY CRAP, this tastes like warheads!!!" and I was like "I KNOW!!!" So we filled up some 42 ounce cups full of Go Ape energy drink (which had a warning on it just like other energy drinks...which seems silly, since it's in a soda fountain with 42 ounce cups sitting next to it). To top it all off, the cups only cost 59 cents...WHAT A DEAL! So we went back to the SUV Mrs. Twenhafle had just finished fueling and continued to drink our new energy beverage. After about 10 minutes, everything suddenly became a lot more funny than it used to be. By the time we arrived at the college and had to listen to the rules of the contest...I had to pee real bad. After I relieved to pressure on my bladder, I rejoined my comrades, who had already taken their seats at the computer we were to be programming on for the contest. They were both laughing pretty hard...I imagined they must have told a pretty good joke, and I began to laugh as well. By the time we were done laughing, the practice problem had already been going on for about ten minutes, so we fired up QBASIC, and typed it out in record time...unfortunatly, since we waited so long, we didn't finish first. After the question was answered, we started exploring the contest's site...and found a "Q and A" section. Apparently, there was already a "test question" that asked "Why does my mommy have cancer?" Well, I was curious, so I clicked on the answer...which went like this "Because God hates her." Well, normally I might have found this offensive, but the energy drink must have been talking...because I couldn't stop laughing...neither could Bogle or Rob. So after the contest started...and we eventually answered 2 of the six problems, and gained a solid spot as "sixth place," we started asking questions to the enigmatic personality behind the Q and A section. We asked lots of questions...which I have archived somewhere...so I'll edit those in later...We ended up getting seventh place (another Bungie refrence, no doubt), and we started back home. We had to take a lot of potty breaks, and much to our dismay, we didn't stop at the gas station where we originally got our awesome drinks, so we just stocked up on Mountain Dew and Red Bull instead. When we got home, we all did a Google search on "Go Ape," and couldn't find ANYTHING!!! Needless to say, we were heartbroken, but at least we came away with TWO awards, one more award than anyone else! HEAR THAT OTHER TEAMS, YOU SUCK COMPARED TO TEAM AWESOME!!! Oh...and Oracle...I love you always.

-AfroRyan
Living with you is like living in a living nightmare!!!

Simply because I haven't mentioned it before...

2005-04-19T11:50:00.000-05:00

Firefox is a wonderful browser. Tabbed browsing is simply a Godsend. I don't know if I could ever go back to IE unless they seriously overhaul it's overall structure. Plugins (for Firefox) suck though, and I miss my IESpell spellchecker. In unrelated news, I'm on an IBM NetVista in our school library right now. It's got a 735 MHz P3 and 128 MBs of RAM, and it's running XP...it sucks. I'm supposed to be "researching" a "topic," but I think I've had all I can stand of "Greek/Roman Army Tactics" for one day. Speaking of being in the library...I'm lookin' at this weird kid, who came up to me while I was playing Super Metroid on Zsnes one day...and he's like "IS THAT METROID FUSION?" and I plainly replied "No." I would have left it at that, because I didn't feel like teaching someone who started playing games in 1998 the history of Nintendo, or videogames in general, but he kept on. "WHAT IS THAT???" he asked, and I replied dryly "Super Metroid, it's for SNES." He pondered this for a while...and I expected him to ask "How are you playing that on Computer???" but instead, he asked "WHAT IS A 'SNES?'" At this point, I tried to stay calm, but I couldn't help it. I blurted out "Are you retarded?" Little did I know, he was. Well that's the end of that story. AfroRyan out.

-AfroRyan

Pickin' on tards.

Concerning the lilacs...

2005-04-18T08:09:00.000-05:00

I'm at school right now...in web design...and I'm pretty bored. The cool kid sittin' next to me is doin' all the work, and I kind of feel bad. Speaking of which, Adobe is slated to aquire Macromedia! That's insane! They say they're thinking about combining Flash and .pdf files...which is great in my opinion, because Adobe Acrobat is teh suck (and I hope it never comes back)! However, the inevitable eradication of Macromedia Fireworks is likely to come to pass within the next 3 years...maybe sooner. After all, there's absolutely no reason to keep that property when Photoshop is being produced (although I guess any cool feature of Fireworks [and I'm pretty sure there aren't any] could be implemented within future Photoshops). I guess they could always create a Fireworks "skin" within Photoshop for those who fear change.
In other news, the Halo 2 Cheat Fix Autoupdate (or the H2CFAU for short) comes out today!!! That also means that the first batch of maps will probably come out within a couple of weeks! Horray!
In a totally unrelated matter, I'm thinking about teaching myself various Web Development tools/scripts. I would love to have a great understanding of HTML and DHTML. Flash would be fun to learn...as would Java (although Java isn't so much a web development tool as it is a programming language). Regardless if that happens or not, I'd love to see Logan's "Tears of 'Nam" series of blogs become its own Website. If that ever becomes the case, I would love to be able to help with it on the technical side. And hey, even if I don't learn any of that stuff, I could always just steal someone else’s site design (I'm looking at you, HBO).

-AfroRyan
People sometimes tell me...

My dad...

2005-04-12T17:24:00.000-05:00

Here's a picture of my dad when he had an afro:

Now you can see where my hair came from (along with my dashing good looks). Although my hair is about twice as big as my dad's was, his was certainly maintained better. All I know is, today at Dairy Queen, this lady from Texas came up and asked me if she could take my picture. She said "We were just drivin' by, when I noticed your hair. It's really popular where we live, but this is probably the biggest one I've ever seen in real life, especially on a white person..." I stopped her before she could ask me how I got it to do that or if it was a perm or how long it takes me to get it ready. I replied "Thanks, it's natural. All I have to do is take about 5 minutes in the morning and pick it out." I could tell she barely believed me, but whatever, most people don't. I accepted her request to take my picture, a picture that I'll probably never see, that will probably be shown around in Texas where they will all be like "GOOOOLLY that's a big Afro! I wish I could get my hair to do that!" Whatever Texans, you just go have fun wishing for curly hair and being cowboys or whatever it is you do down there (besides killing people, of course). *I understand that some may find that last remark "liberal," to which I ask "it was funny though, right?"*
Anyways, I'll probably update sometime later about an adventure I had about a month ago. Here's a small preview: "GGOOOO APE!!!!!!"

-AfroRyan
Is a Crying Clown crying because he's sad, or because he's been laughing too hard?

Old and New "Stuffage"

2005-04-11T21:16:00.000-05:00

So, I made it onto the front page of the marathon story page! Check it out at http://marathon.bungie.org/story/newmar-apr05.html and click on "box acronyms," cause that one is TOTALLY mine. And while we're on the subject of me making it on the front page of an awesome bungie fansite, check out http://halo.bungie.org/oldnews.html?item=8238. I had actually almost forgot about that one, it was so long ago. I would still have the emails from Claude, or "Louis," if you will, but msn/hotmail deleted all my crap because I didn't sign in for about 3 and a half months straight. Check out the movie he made with MY save profile here. Awesome huh?

-AfroRyan
aka "Black Irish"

UPDATE for 04/15/05: Wow, didn't expect this, but I actually got on the frontpage of the Marathon Story Page AGAIN (this time it's about Cortana Vs Durandal). On the story page twice in one week...that's awesome!

UPDATE for 05/17/05: Hey, seems I made it on just the plain olde MBO (marathon.bungie.org) site as well! Although I personally am not mentioned, I'm still happy. I have copied it, and will now commence pasting it:

April 15

Should these things be Marathon related?

Marathon Story
The "Featured Marathon site" thingie is still going on at the Story Page. Lot's of good reading there.
Also on the Story Page:

Famous Jjaro boxers.
The return of the Bungie Webmaster.
Box acronyms. <--MINE!!!
New Marathon concept art.
Eternal fame.

Probably more things too that I overlooked...

OKAY

2005-04-09T20:36:00.000-05:00

In response to a...response, I'm going to post a pixel art self portrait I made.

Hope everyone likes it. Also, I have another "update" of sorts, but I've already typed it all out on my redvsblue.com "journal," so I'm just gonna copy and paste it.

START REDVSBLUE JOURNAL

I TOTALLY have a blog

It's at afroryan.blogspot.com, so check it out I suppose. Also, check out my freind's awesome war stories at tearsofnam.blogspot.com. On a totally unrelated note, I got a PSP...Lumines is great, and I'm diggin Metal Gear Ac!d, but so far, I HATE the hardware itself. For being the "sexiest thing since the iPOD," I have to say, I'm unimpressed. I mean, people say "IT CAN PLAY MP3S AND VIDEOS!!!1!!," to which I say, "YEAH, FOR ONLY THE ADDED COST OF ABOUT $200," by which I mean buying 2 one gig memory cards to hold your MP3s (it comes with a free 30 MB stick...which is almost completly useless for an MP3 player), which is STILL miniscule in comparison to an iPOD, which you can get at about a flat 300 bucks with 20-40 gigs on it. Not to mention you have to spend a good 15 bucks for a USB 2.0 connector (assuming you don't already have one...and I bet you don't). I won't even talk about the battery life issue, as I constantly have an adaptor available (there's no way I would actually play that thing somewhere without a power source anyways). I guess that would be pretty annoying for people who AREN'T though...O, and I completely forgot to mention that I had to return it once because of 3 dead pixles all located towards the middle of the screen. (My replacement has 2 dead pixles, but they're both on the border of the screen...I can live with that I guess...)
All in all, it's like every other piece of Sony hardware: SUCKY and DEFECTIVE.
Regardless, I bought one, and I'm pretty happy with it. If it weren't for Lumines though, I think I'd be kicking myself right now. (Ac!d is good too, but not good enough to warrent buying a system. If I would have heard that statement before I played Ac!d, I woulda been like "THIS GUYS TOTALLY GAY, HE DOESN'T LIKE METAL GEAR!1!!11!1," but after playing it, I'm not near as impressed, basically because it's just not as fun. I'm a strategy fan even, but the gameplay seems broken somehow...I'm not sure why. I'll update when I pinpoint the problem).

P.S. DLC CONTENT ON THE WAY IN LIKE A WEEK OR WHATEVER!11!!1!11 CNA;T W8T!!1!!1!
END REDVSBLUE JOURNAL

A bit of a rant, I know...but who cares. I'll post sometime later.

-AfroRyan

P.S. I got my Napolean Dynamite DVD signed by Mr. Jon Heder :) Thanks Chris Coleman!!! (he got backstage passes to the show I tryed to break into)