Why I haven't told my "Go Ape" story yet...well, it's because I've been too lazy to post it. But I have nothing better to do for the next 2 hours, so here goes...about a month ago, me and a couple of other guys from my school (who I will refer to as Bogle and Rob) went to this computer programming contest a ways away from our current possision of Marion, Illinois. So we're drive over there for a couple of hours, when we have to stop for gas. We stop at this gas station, and right away, there's something special about it...I couldn't put my finger on it. We ventured inside as my teacher (Mrs. Twenhaufle) filled up the vehicle. So I'm browsing the snacks when I see something strange...over at the soda fountain, there's a drink I haven't ever seen before. Being the conniseur of soda that I like to think I am, I stroll on over to the fountain, only to discover a ratty looking sticker with some ugly cartoon monkey, with the phrase "Go Ape Energy Drink" underneath it. It listed all the ingrediants, which I quickly compared to a nearby can of Red Bull. It seemed to check out as a valid energy drink, but just to be sure, I took a sample drink (by that, I mean I filled up half a cup, and downed it in a couple of seconds). "HOLY CRAP!" I exlaimed, "It tastes like warheads!!!" I yelled at Bogle and Rob to get over to the soda fountain to try this stuff. They were like "HOLY CRAP, this tastes like warheads!!!" and I was like "I KNOW!!!" So we filled up some 42 ounce cups full of Go Ape energy drink (which had a warning on it just like other energy drinks...which seems silly, since it's in a soda fountain with 42 ounce cups sitting next to it). To top it all off, the cups only cost 59 cents...WHAT A DEAL! So we went back to the SUV Mrs. Twenhafle had just finished fueling and continued to drink our new energy beverage. After about 10 minutes, everything suddenly became a lot more funny than it used to be. By the time we arrived at the college and had to listen to the rules of the contest...I had to pee real bad. After I relieved to pressure on my bladder, I rejoined my comrades, who had already taken their seats at the computer we were to be programming on for the contest. They were both laughing pretty hard...I imagined they must have told a pretty good joke, and I began to laugh as well. By the time we were done laughing, the practice problem had already been going on for about ten minutes, so we fired up QBASIC, and typed it out in record time...unfortunatly, since we waited so long, we didn't finish first. After the question was answered, we started exploring the contest's site...and found a "Q and A" section. Apparently, there was already a "test question" that asked "Why does my mommy have cancer?" Well, I was curious, so I clicked on the answer...which went like this "Because God hates her." Well, normally I might have found this offensive, but the energy drink must have been talking...because I couldn't stop laughing...neither could Bogle or Rob. So after the contest started...and we eventually answered 2 of the six problems, and gained a solid spot as "sixth place," we started asking questions to the enigmatic personality behind the Q and A section. We asked lots of questions...which I have archived somewhere...so I'll edit those in later...We ended up getting seventh place (another Bungie refrence, no doubt), and we started back home. We had to take a lot of potty breaks, and much to our dismay, we didn't stop at the gas station where we originally got our awesome drinks, so we just stocked up on Mountain Dew and Red Bull instead. When we got home, we all did a Google search on "Go Ape," and couldn't find ANYTHING!!! Needless to say, we were heartbroken, but at least we came away with TWO awards, one more award than anyone else! HEAR THAT OTHER TEAMS, YOU SUCK COMPARED TO TEAM AWESOME!!! Oh...and Oracle...I love you always.
Living with you is like living in a living nightmare!!!